The Latest Thing EM Has Taken From Me
photo by swami stream
Thank you all for your kind words on my post yesterday. I’d hate for you all to think I’m some sort of strong, resilient woman when it comes to my health.
Fact is, it’s hard. It sucks. Most days I get through it, but there are days where I don’t understand it at all. Yesterday was one of those days.
You see, I can’t leave the house without flaring. Without unbearable pain. For a while, the only thing I could do was go out to eat since there I could put my feet up. And eating was just sitting.
Then yesterday happened. The Man and I went out to a restaurant—pathetically, my biggest excursion in a long time—and I flared. My left foot just went wild.
That was it.
The EM has taken away my ability to stand, to walk, to cook for myself, to clean my own house and to shower without excruciating pain. It took me away from my family during the holidays. And yesterday it took away my ability to eat out without pain.
Guys, I don’t get like this often on the blog. But I’m just going to say that yesterday was made of 100 percent suckitude.
See? I’m not strong. I break down. I curl up in a ball and wonder why this is happening.
Tomorrow I’ll be back with a typical post (we need it, huh?) but I thought you should know that your assessments of me yesterday weren’t entirely true.
Now you know.
Q4U: What’s the best funny movie you’ve seen recently? As you can see, I could you a good belly laugh or mindless two hours of romantic comedy.
27 comments
So sorry you’re feeling so bad
I truly hope your symptoms go away very very soon!
I’m having a hard time thinking of the funniest movie ever. We saw Starsky & Hutch last night. That made us laugh
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Thanks, Estela. I saw that in theaters, but I can’t remember it at all. It’s worth a re-rent!
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I totally get your need to vent here. Go for it!
Billy Madison always provides a good laugh for me (without having to put much thought into it). And if you’ve never seen it, may I suggest Death at a Funeral? Not the crappy Chris Rock version, but the original British version? I heart awkward humor…
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
I’ve never heard of Death at a Funeral. Going in the Netflix queue. Thanks!
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I feel the same way when I hurt. Vent away! It’s totally fine. It’s part of why we enjoy your blog. Love & Other Drugs was a funny movie, plus bonus Jake Gyllenhaal. The Hangover, too (ahem, Bradley Cooper).
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
Good point on both accounts.
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Feel free to vent as much as you want. Even though it may not physically make you feel better, venting always helps emotionally (and probably with your sanity).
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
It does help the sanity, that’s for sure!
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Repeat after me: “I am strong!”
For a long while, I thought being strong in dealing with my pain meant I had to somehow always be okay with it, be tougher than the pain, and not let it get to me but I have recently come to realize that an attitude like that is just setting me up for feeling like I am failing somehow. It is okay, and strong, to say that it sucks and to sometimes feel down about it.
As for funny movie, I love Talladega Nights. So stupid but the whole making fun of Nascar, a guy with two names who wears Crystal Gayle t-shirts and Sasha Baron Cohen’s frenchman all make me laugh.
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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EM sucks. And it sucks you have to deal with it. Sometimes sulking in suckitude helps you feel better though.
I watched a seriously funny movie the other day and I CANNOT remember what it’s called. I’m no help at all.
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Thanks, Heather. I hope so.
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Oh Tracey! I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. You are right that it 100% sucks. If there was something I could do to help I would absolutely do it!
With that said, my life is one comedy routine after another so I have no need for funny movies. Should I send Ali and Maya your way?
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Aw, that so sweet. Thank you. You can keep Ali and Maya. I’ll just get my humor from your blog.
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I am so sorry. I just saw the picture of your foot and it looks like mine when I’m in the middle of a flare. I can relate… it’s awful.
Have you tried going gluten/dairy free ? I think I’ve asked you that before, but I don’t remember the answer (I’m sorry… I have an awful memory!!).
I too try to stay positive, but some days, I just need to curl up in a ball, wallow in pain, and be sick. You deserve those days too!
I hope the pain passes quickly.
Hugs
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
You know, I just started a gluten-free diet today. I’m not expecting overnight changes and it’s a shot in the dark, but it’s worth a try. *slinks off to stalk your recipes*
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Megan @ MAID in AK Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 3:21 am
Let me know if I can help with anything. Gluten and dairy can take 6 to 8 weeks to completely clear from your system, so just keep at it. “Raw Energy” by Stephanie Tourles has some great simple recipes. Udi’s gluten free bread isn’t bad (and it freezes well). Pamela’s offers some really yummy baked goods and baking mixes… When I first went on my diet, I felt some relief in the first two weeks… I really hope it works for you too. Hang in there!!
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Tracey Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate the tips and suggestions. I have yet to buy GF bread and I’m glad–I’m definitely going to buy Udi’s.
I had no idea how debilitating this was in your life. How do you have your sense of humor?!
I recently posted about Tangled! – you’ll laugh and cry…or maybe it’s just me that’s the big Disney Geek…;) Probably – but I dare ya to test me out
Other than that a good episode of Ellen? Although I don’t have her station anymore and can’t see it anymore
So, so sad…can’t watch it on the other station during the day due to work. Work ruins all!
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Tracey Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
Oooh… I wanted to see Tangled. And I have two free movie tickets. Maybe that’s what I need to do this weekend!
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Tracey, I read this and my heart just broke. Pain is horrible, but losing your independence to a body that’s mutiny-ing is doubly so. Keep your head up.
Marcus and I have been watching the show Weeds via Netflix On Demand and it’s Pee-Your-Pants funny. So that’s my vote for the moment. Plus, there are like…five seasons on DVD.
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Tracey Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Thanks, Kat.
And The Man and I love renting TV series on Netflix. I’ve heard good things about Weeds–perhaps it should be added to the queue!
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I am so sorry you are going through this! I really hope that some sort of treatment will work for you soon. There has to be *something* out there, I am sure you will find it eventually.
I actually laughed pretty hard during Easy A. And I enjoyed Morning Glory as well (it was pretty entertaining and had a happy ending, which is key for me in movies since I get way too emotionally involved. I mean, I cried in Chronicles of Narnia the other night).
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Tracey Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Thanks, Alina. I just watched Easy A last weekend and thought it was really funny. I wanted to see Morning Glory, so I’m glad to hear it’s good. Oh, and I love Chronicles of Narnia. I can’t wait to see it! I’m sure I’ll cry too…
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Thinking of you Tracey!
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Tracey Reply:
December 31st, 2010 at 12:48 am
Thanks, Katie.
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I’m in a similar situation to you. I’ve been healthy and active all my life and have suddenly developed this hideous disease. In my case, EM is probably secondary and part of an underlying autoimmune disorder. I hope once that is under control my EM symptoms might improve, but I think that is doubtful. Since my health took a sudden turn for the worse a year ago, I’ve spent a lot of time reading about the experiences of other people with various conditions. EM appears to be the most devastating, by far. It’s seems so absurd and ridiculous as well.
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