life: super powers not included

photo by dadaace

Thank goodness for a three-day weekend. I forgot it was Labor Day until this Monday which means A) my mind has been in some weird alternate reality where I don’t pine for the holidays like a puppy begging for table scraps, and B) I have no big plans.

Well, unless you count donating some old clothes to Goodwill and trying to sell some more stuff on eBay. I’ll likely try to rid my closet of a good chunk of summer clothing that I haven’t worn since ninth grade. This is what I’m now calling my So Long, Summer party.

That’s right, good riddance to sweltering air that coats your skin in a thick layer of humidity. To air conditioned rooms that give just-shaved legs fresh scruff. To random rainstorms that short circuit the power and leave my seventh-floor apartment like an oven.

See ya later.

I’m ready for fall. True, the season just isn’t the same in the Mid-Atlantic; the orange and red leaves can’t rival the pumpkin, crimson and neon yellow ones I grew up with in New England. But it’s wonderful enough.

In this sticky heat, I’m longing for crisp air that smells like firewood. Thick sweaters that hug your skin when the temperature drops at night. Cider sold at roadside markets. Pumpkins that dot every house on the block. And crunchy, tart apples like Macouns and Staymans that only show up for three months of the year.

I’m looking forward to these, too:

Baked Apple Cider Donuts

Unfussy Apple Cake

Sweet Potato Buttermilk Pie

Pumpkin Spice Latte Baked Oatmeal

5-Star Butternut Squash

And apples right off the tree.

It’s a shame this is the shortest season. Because it’s hands-down the best.

How do you welcome fall?

photo by laura4smith

Another day, another study telling us we too often consult Dr. Google when we’re feeling sick. (Remember our discussion about that here?) Turn to the Internet, experts say, and you risk freaking yourself out bigtime. And diagnosing yourself with a rare, life-threatening disease native to a small island off the coast of Africa when you really have a rash.

I’ve been there, too. There was the first time I got a migraine with an aura, when I was absolutely positive I was having a stroke. I’m pretty sure, if I thought long and hard enough about it, I could find reason to believe I have typhoid fever, boils, or prostate cancer. (I’m not sure how I’d rationalize that last one, but never underestimate the ability of a hypochondriac to imagine body parts.)

But still. Sometimes visiting the doctor is a big, fat, expensive waste of time.

Case in point: About a month ago, I googled a health problem I was having. I printed out a page—my self-diagnosis, if you will—and brought it to my primary care physician. Here’s how it went down (keeping in mind I have insurance):

Cab ride to primary care physician: $20

Copay: $20

Bill for blood tests: $85

Cab ride to work: $20

And then I got a referral to a specialist. From there:

Cab ride to specialist: $40

Copay: $40

Bill for visit not covered by insurance: $47

Cab ride home: Free, thanks to The Man

The total, out of pocket: $272

The diagnosis? The same as what I’d found for free online.

I’m not saying we should ditch our docs and stick with Google. Obviously, the only way to confirm a diagnosis is to make an appointment, and brushing something off because some site said you’re in the clear could lead to a missed diagnosis. Scary stuff. (Not only that, but when else will you get to wear a thin paper robe in a freezing room? Seriously.) But will I ever ditch the medical web searches because I might misdiagnose an eye twitch for Parkinson’s? Probably not.

What are your thoughts on paying a (free) visit to Dr. Google?

photo by moriza

We need to talk.

(No, you’re not in trouble.)

It’s just that I’ve been seeing a trend around these interwebs and I thought, Who better to chit-chat about the trend with than my blog friends? It started with this article. And this one. And then this blog post. And some more that I foolishly let expire from my Google Reader before starring them. Suffice it to say, there’s been some gabbing going on about our plugged-in culture.

To sum up: Our brains need downtime to process information and do basic functions. Like think. The thing is, we’re always jamming information down our brains’ metaphorical throats. (If I could draw an even halfway decent brain, I’d totally illustrate that.)

We don’t just go for a run. We listen to music and watch TV and e-mail and Tweet and send important updates to Facebook like: “So hot outside.”

We don’t just watch TV. We watch TV and blog and read blogs and talk to our spouse with little grunts to let him know we still understand he’s alive and sitting next to us.

I’m going to let you in on a low moment for me. Don’t judge, or I’ll come beat you up. (Not really.) I’ve woken up and checked my e-mail on my phone before I even put on glasses. Yes, I’ve done that. (Shame, shame, shame.)

photo by brandon christopher warren

But researchers quoted in that New York Times article say uploading teensy bits of info to our minds on a near-constant basis never gives us a chance to be still and let all of that information sink in.

Without the downtime, I fear I might start talking in 140-word bites.

THE MAN: Hey, Trace, how was work?
TRACEY: Fine. #isitfridayyet #omgineedsleep

Right, so bad things would happen. Chaos.

So, what’s the solution? Well, one option is to unplug completely and endlessly annoy everyone you know by saying things like, “Sorry, I don’t own a computer. If you need to contact me, you’ll have to stop by.”

That, my friends, is not the answer.

But I don’t think shrugging it off as a byproduct of our fast-paced society is the answer either. Because, don’t you think, one of these days your brain just might put out one of those signs for you? Gone Fishin’.

For now, I’m working on balance. I might overload with micro tasks all day long, but one I’m off work, that’s it. It’s me time. I’ll pick a TV show and watch it without distractions. I’ll read in a silent room. On weekends, I shut the computer. I don’t read other people’s blogs. I don’t write mine. I may even have a conversation with The Man—but that might be pushing it.

That is, until I invent a device that downloads pertinent information straight to my brain. In seconds flat.

Do you unplug? Do you need to? Let’s continue the discussion in the comments.

I’m not really sure what could say summer more than this. Maybe some hamburgers on the grill and a couple Coronas, but really? This is much better.

A few weeks ago I saw Jenna’s recipe for zucchini pizza and thought, Hey, I could make that. And then I remembered I didn’t have pizza dough or ricotta.

So I improvised. That’s tip No. 1: Know when to trust your instincts.

First, I grated a zucchini. It’s a lot easier than it sounds. Thank goodness for squishy flesh. (That’s as opposed to Parmesan, not some other flesh. Eeew.)

Then I patted the zucchini dry because that’s what Jenna said to do and she’s all schooled in food and all. That’s tip No. 2: Know when to trust people smarter than you.

Next, I smeared goat cheese all over a corn tortilla. Yes, I’m still obsessing about goat cheese.

Mound the zucchini on top of the goat cheese. Be generous. No one likes a stingy chef.

And top with salt, pepper, and mozzarella. You can use real mozzarella—which I did the first time—but if you’re out, don’t sweat it. Disclaimer: You can also add onions or garlic or whatever. If you like that gross sorta thing.

Bake in the oven at 375 degrees until the cheese is bubbly.

Cut into quarters because you’re six still.

And enjoy.

photo by esthereggy
This chocolatey, sugary goodness is kryptonite to my resolve.

Here we are: August 30, and my five-week beauty giveaway is over. Which means I’ll actually have to think of content next Monday. Good thing my brain cells are itchy to work by Sunday afternoon. (Funny, come Monday morning they go into rebellion. I think it has something to do with the word work.)

So, I asked you guys to ask me anything as part of your entry comments. Not that it got you any special treatment, but it makes things more fun. And if you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time you know I’m all about fun. At least most of the time.

Here’s what you’re wondering…

Teri asked, Who would win a fight between Jason Bourne and Sayid Jarrah?
You’d think I’d choose Sayid since my undying love of Lost is well documented on this blog. Basically, I was obsessed. The thing is, Sayid’s been so busy running from smoke monsters, hiking through the jungle, subsisting on Dharma peanut butter, and getting blown to shreds in a submarine that I have to say—Jason Bourne might have the upper hand. That is, if he can even find the island to fight Sayid in the first place.

Ameena said, What is your favorite book ever?
That’s like asking the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe to pick her favorite child. I will say, there are some I read as a kid that I’ll love forever: A Wrinkle in Time, Charlotte’s Web, Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret, The Westing Game, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Secret Garden, Little Women, and Number the Stars. And To Kill A Mockingbird, but now I’m getting into my tween years, and this list is risking taking on a life of its own.

Heather C asks, Even though you are big into health and nutrition, do you have a food weakness that has you occasionally nutritionally slumming it?
Do I have a weakness? As in one? No.

I do, however, have a list of weaknesses. Most fall under the category dessert, which means all are sugar-loaded and often covered with chocolate. However, chocolate is brain food. It helps me think. Non-chocolate weaknesses include bread pudding, sugar cookies, peach pie and, yes, Sour Patch Kids. Movies are better with a pack of Sour Patch Kids.

Pretty much everyone seconded Shanna’s question: Where are all these goodies coming from?
I held up a Sephora.

Just kidding. Before I became a health writer, I was a beauty editor. And so I got a lot of great swag, plus Sephora gift cards. It’s called paying it forward. I expect to win a free tube of mascara sometime around my 50th birthday.

Jolene asked, How did you get started as a writer? What was your path like?
Twitter version: I went to school for journalism. #lotsofwriting #collegecostsmorethanaprivateisland

For more than 140 words on the topic, check out my answers to this question here and here. Oh, and anyone wondering, “How do I get started writing?” should click here.

Katie wants to know: If you were forced to get rid of one state in the country, which one would it be and why?
This is so easy: New Jersey. There are three main reasons for this.

A. Jersey Shore. The world would be a better place if this went off the air.

B. The Jersey Turnpike. Biggest time suck ever.

C. Driving through Jersey—when I’m going from my home in Virginia to my parents’ house in Massachusetts—takes just as long as getting through Virginia, D.C., Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut and Massachusetts. (See B, above.) Seriously, that’s one long state.

Teresa asks, Should Lindsay Lohan sign up for Dancing with the Stars? Should DWTS want Ms. Lohan? Does anyone care about LL anymore? Did anyone ever?
No. Here’s what Lindsay Lohan should do: Gain 20 pounds, embrace her red hair, and act like an adult. This might lead to actual movie roles through which she will win back all of the people who thought she was a slice of awesome in Freaky Friday and Mean Girls.

Speaking of Teresa … She was No. 37.

Which means she’s the final winner of my beauty giveaway. (E-mail your full name and address to tracey@notsuperhuman.com and I’ll ship it off!)

And that, my amazing readers, is all.

In the spirit of this Q&A post, I leave you with this hilariously random question to ponder in the comments: If you could delete one state from the country, which would you pick and why?

photo by darwin bell

Before I go any further into this post, lemme remind you that the final beauty giveaway is almost over. Tonight, that’s it. So go here and enter one last time. Or three, really, since there are three ways to enter per day.

Besides, isn’t there some big and wondrous question you’ve been fixating on but had no one to ask? (Like, for instance, who would win a physical throwdown between Paula Deen and Bobby Flay?) Well, that’s what your entry is for. Ask away.

There, you’ve been reminded. My job is done.

I’m erring on the short side today because A. It’s Friday, and thus my brain is fried from too much work (it’s a real syndrome), and B. I’m still mentally exhausted from the rollercoaster ride that was Mockingjay. And if you haven’t already bought The Hunger Games series, then take my word now that I’m totally done: STOP EVERYTHING AND GO READ IT NOW.

Ahem. Right, so this is a health blog, yes? And you expect more than a book review. So how about this:

Natural compounds in berries may protect against age-related memory loss or a drop in mental functioning. Not that you all don’t eat berries, but consider this another reason to mix ’em into your smoothie. Or shovel them into your mouth by the handful.

Or grab a partner and take turns throwing them into each other’s mouth.

What’s your favorite berry? Right now, I’m loving my morning oatmeal with blueberries.

OK, and finally—because it’s Friday—here you go:

Insanely cute puppy photo from cute overload

You’re welcome.

photo by ooki_op
Yeah, kid, they are kinda annoying.

If you were to ask The Man for one of my faults, he’d tell you I get annoyed too easily. Yeah, I kind of can’t take other drivers when they’re on the same road as me (especially not Virginia or Maryland drivers who are so slooow; I miss my fast Mass. drivers) or waiting in pointlessly long lines or public nose picking. Annoying.

On that note, here are a few more things that get me riled up.

photo by darwin bell

It’s annoying when … I tell people I dislike onions and garlic and they look at me like I have 32 eyeballs planted firmly in my forehead. Guess what? We all hate things. I don’t call you crazy for hating beets or fennel, now do I? No.

I don’t play 20 questions with you because I can’t for the life of me understand how one does not enjoy raw zucchini. (Are you sure you’ve really tried raw zucchini? What about in a salad? How about now?) I’m not sure how disliking onions is worse than disliking any other food on the planet, I just know it is. And that my friends is annoying.

photo by bitzcelt

It’s annoying when … I order a Veggie Delite at Subway with tons of pickles and the woman behind the counter gives me four. Four. In what universe is four equal to a ton? Here’s what usually happens:

ME: Um, can I have more. Like, a lot.
Woman adds three more pickes.
ME: Can I have, like, a handful.
Woman adds five.
ME: Like—a huge amount. A pile.
Woman looks at me like I’m asking her to layer my sandwich with golden coins.
ME: I mean, I’m just getting four veggies on this sandwich. Not even all the veggies Not even spread.
Woman adds two more pickles.
ME: Pretend you’re adding onions.
Woman grabs a clump of pickles.

photo by macaron*macaron

It’s annoying when … the toilet paper rolls under instead of over. I know, I know. Big deal, Trace, you say. Fine, maybe I’m being nitpicky. But housekeeping prefers it over for a reason: When rolled under, the toilet paper hits the wall. It more easily hits the floor. And, really, do you want to imagine what else hits those areas during a flush?

photo by danilo prates
This will be my new ride when the state of Virginia bleeds me dry.

It’s annoying when … the state of Virginia charges you $400 every nine months just to own a car. That’s right, today I got my awesome “Welcome to Virginia” note. It also mentioned that my $400 bill included a $500 tax credit. I can’t wait to see how much the next bill will be when the credit is removed. Silly me, I thought buying the car made it my own.

What drives you nuts? Oh, and any other state have a huge You-Dared-To-Own-A-Car tax?

In not-at-all-annoying news, the final week of my big beauty giveaway continues. Remember, you have three opportunities to enter per day. So go here and do that thang.

You should know some backstory before I recommend something incredible to you.

I love cheese. I’m like an anti-vegan when it comes to cheese. I could eat it by itself every day. Some days I do that. Some days I add a cracker or fruit to make me seem less—oh, what’s the word?—pathetic.

I’m especially a huge fan of goat cheese, which is great in a salad but even better in a veggie sandwich. Even The Man loves goat cheese on his veggie sandwhich, which is saying a lot.

But this?

This Trader Joe’s honey goat cheese? This blows everything out of the water. It’s tangy and sweet and soft and pretty much every other positive adjective all rolled into one log. It feels like such a shame hiding it on a sandwich with other flavors, so I’ve been eating it on seeded crackers. Here’s what you should do:

Go buy this. It’s not expensive. No, I don’t have my receipt so I can’t reveal the price. But whatever I paid, it’s worth it.

Next, get some plain crackers. No onion or garlic or other flavors that will steal the spotlight. These seeded ones are just right.

Give it a hefty spread. Lick the knife. No honey goat cheese should be wasted.

There—it’s perfect just like that. But you can also add thinly sliced pears. Tart not-yet-ripe pear + sweet-tangy goat cheese = ohmygoodness.

And if you’re feeling crazy, go ahead and drizzle some honey.

Or, you know, cut off a slice and eat it as-is. No one’s looking. And I won’t tell.

What’s your favorite type of cheese?

P.S. There is still time to win my last Totally Awesome Beauty Contest. Head over here and leave a question in the comments, shoot off a tweet, or become my friend if, ya know, you aren’t already.

All of August has been one big lead-up to today. It’s like I’ve gone through the month as one big breath in, never exhaling until right now.

I imagine this is how many of you must feel when you sign up for a race and spend months training. That last final month is a countdown to race day and when you’re finally at the finish line you realize this is what I’ve been waiting for.

I feel like that, minus the sweat.

Today I received Mockingjay in the mail. The final book in the Hunger Games trilogy. If you haven’t read the series, I suggest you buy it right now. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

The books are addictive and fast-paced (I read each of the first two, The Hunger Games and Catching Fire, in a day) and brilliant and so fun. Plus, unlike another series (rhymes with skylight) the prose doesn’t weigh down the story or force incessant eye rolls.

So tonight after work I’m planting my butt firmly on the couch and not going to bed until I turn that last page. The Man will lose a wife for the night. Then I’ll pass the book on to him–because The Man also loves The Book–and watch as he’s sucked in for one final ride.

ALSO: If you think it’s a good idea to go google Mockingjay or Hunger Games and read about the series, BE CAUTIOUS. Seriously. There are all sorts of spoilers out there, so the best thing you could do is read the summary on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or go check it out at your local indie bookstore. After that, stop reading. Spoiled endings do not a good book make.

While I go devour this book, you can head over here to enter my final Totally Awesome Beauty Giveaway. Wee!

Have you ever so eagerly anticipated a book release—and which?

Who’s read the Hunger Games series? For those who have, two words: Team Peeta (♥) or Team Gale?

Well, guys, this is it. This is the last week of beauty giveaways I’ve got for you. Which means you’re either

A. Excited we can move on to other topics on Monday, or

B. Sad you haven’t won so far

But don’t worry just yet. You have one more week to possibly win a really awesome package of beauty products. And because I’m feeling all sad that the giveaways are ending, I might throw in some extra treats for whoever wins this. Just so you know.

First, last week’s winner was No. 38, Katie. Send your full name and address to tracey@notsuperhuman.com and I’ll get your loot out to you.

Alright. Let’s get right to it. Here’s what you can win:

1. Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting cream
2. Creative Spa cucumber heel therapy cream
3. Nefeli cellulite cream
4. Prescriptives Anti-Age Advanced Protection Lotion with SPF 25
5. Prescriptives Flawless Skin UVA/UVB SPF 15 makeup in gold
6. Prescriptives Pressed Powder Leaves in Rose Baroque
7. Liz Earle Eyebright soothing eye lotion
8. Bare Eyes eye makeup remover
9. Kerastase Soleil Hydrafresh UV hair protector
10. Get Fresh bath salts in Fig & Peach Blossom
11. Get Fresh travel candle in Fig & Peach Blossom
12. Freeze 24/7 Ice Crystals anti-aging prep and polish, travel size
13. Clinique Fresh Bloom Allover Color in Posy
14. Benefit Silky Powder eye shadow in Bossy
15. Lorac lip gloss in Pink
16. Annnd something extra but still special

There you go. Fifteen never-been-used items plus some extras I throw in. All for one lucky reader. Because I ♥ you.

As for entry, typical rules apply:

• You can enter once a day until the contest ends
• There are three ways to enter: Leave a comment, tweet about the contest (the link’s here: http://bit.ly/cxCJgC), or become a friend through Google Friend Connect
• You can enter all three ways per day—or just one.
• The contest will end Friday, Aug. 27.
• I’ll announce the winner on Monday, Aug. 30.

Though any comment will get you an entry, here’s something to get you going: Remember my montly Q&A? You know, back in the old days? Let’s resurrect that for this contest. Leave any question (feel free to be as serious or goofy as you like) in the comments, and I’ll answer them this week in a later post.

Here are a few to get you started:

Now that you’ve done five beauty contests, will you hold a car giveaway next week?
Yes. It will be followed by a raffle for a free dream home and 1 gazillion dollars. I swear.

What’s your deepest, darkest secret?
I think nut butters are just okay. There, it’s out.

Is there anything that makes wolves cooler than humans? I mean, wolves that don’t turn into shirtless humans?
Honestly, I don’t’ think shirtless-human-slash-wolves are even cool. But the real ones? They have 200 million scent cells (compared to our 5 million). I’d say that’s kinda neat.

OK, guys … let the games begin.