life: super powers not included

photo by robayre

Aw, thanks for your well-wishes yesterday. My head’s still somewhere near the summit of Mt. Everest while my body sinks deep in the ocean (at least that’s how it feels to me) but I think whatever cold or sickness I have is fading. A good, good thing because I’m not about to spend my weekend feeling all flighty.

Two things today:

1. My 90-year-old massage therapist says you should try this:

The other day I mentioned how working at a desk all day contorts my muscles into some horrible knots, and you all pretty much agreed that desk work will be the downfall of all humanity. (That is what you agreed to, right?) Anyhow, I thought I’d pass on another tip I learned from a massage therapist I had once.

(Actually, I learned it from a ninetysomething year-old massage therapist who was a teensy little thing that didn’t even reach my shoulders. And yet somehow this frail woman dug in deep and hard and got all my knots out. Go figure.)

After she told me my back was in pathetic shape (yeah, seriously) and that I needed to stop doing so much sitting in front of the computer (yeah right) she suggested I get a back cushion. The idea is to lay on the cushion after a long day and let the pose work your spine into alignment.

The cushion I use (here’s what it looks like) places your head, neck, and back in perfect alignment and it helps aches and pains. Plus, it gives you a good idea of what good posture feels like, thus making it easier to stand up straight when you’re not, you know, splayed out on the floor.

2. Your Media Savvy Tip of the Day: Put your e-mail address on your blog.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes reporters who need to interview real humans stumble across THE MOST PERFECT SUBJECT EVER! and, naturally, do a Google search of their name. And then they might find a blog, which is great because they can study up on the person before an interview. But sometimes there is no contact info on the blog. None.

Do you know what a reporter does then? I mean, after crying and wishing this MOST PERFECT SUBJECT EVER! would have just put a derned e-mail address on her site? That reporter cuts her losses and moves on to someone else.

So if you like the idea of ever being featured in a newspaper or magazine article, a book, or television or radio story, the reporters must have a way to contact you. Here’s where I look first: On the homepage, the About Me page, or under a Contact Me tab.

I came across this today when I found someone who was perfect for an article I’m writing. I spent way too long searching her site for anything—e-mail address, phone number, twitter handle, address to which I might send a carrier pigeon. Nothing.

But if you’re happy never having the possibility of the media not contacting you, that’s fine, too.

Finally, today is the last day to enter my beauty giveaway. The details are all here, but the Cliff Notes version is this: 12 never-been-used beauty products, one winner, three ways to enter today.

Have a great weekend!

Forgive the iPhone pic. Oh, and if you live in Northern Virginia, head here and eat this right now.

Hey there friends. Before you read on, I think you should know that today is the second-to-last day you can enter my Totally Awesome Beauty Package Contest. Remember, you can enter once a day in up to three ways, so if you want to up your chances of actually winning, click on over here.

In other news, I fear I’m getting sick. My head’s about 45 pounds heavy and I know from Jerry Maguire that the human head weighs 8 pounds. On top of that I’m the kind of exhausted I imagine comes from spending 48 hours awake. Only I’ve slept soundly each night.

That’d be just like me, too—getting sick right in time for the weekend.

But because of all that, this post will be super short. (Trust me, you don’t want me rambling on and on while my head is officially turning to sickly mush. It’s nonsensical. It’s not funny.) I want to address something…

Thanks to the Healthy Living Summit that some of you attended in Chicago, the blogosphere has been peppered with photos of deep-dish pizza. No offense to any Chicagoans out there, but that ain’t pizza. That’s crust cake with marinara.

Real pizza has four things:

1. San Marzano tomato sauce.

2. Fresh mozzarella.

3. Fresh basil.

And of course, 4. A crust so thin it droops when you pick it up.

Period. No 6-inch crust that sits in your stomach like a rock. No knives necessary. Kapiche?

photo by JD’na

Aw, you guys were too cute yesterday with all your sisterly and brotherly love. I think yesterday was Official Mushy-Gushy day on here. (Not to be confused with the day I got all mushy-gushy about you.) And now the phrase mushy-gushy has lost all meaning. Darn, I hate when words do that.

So I’m not sure how many of you work in an office—and by that I mean spend eight to 11 hours with butt firmly planted in seat, face planted in front of the computer—but I was thinking today about my posture. Here’s how it went down:

I click my neck to the side, which cracks and stiffens. Then I massage my shoulders. I’m pretty sure there are marbles underneath my skin, woven into my muscle fibers. I work my way to my upper back where the marbles turned into golf balls. I stand up. Feel my lower back pinch. Crack it. And decide one day when I’m 90 and warped like the Hunchback of Notre Dame I’m going to say, “See, I told you office work would screw up your body.”

What I’m saying is sitting for that long can put a major kink in your back. And neck. And shoulders. When I’m a mega zillionaire I’m going to get a deep-tissue massage every day. Hey, if I’m that rich, I’ll buy each of you one every day.

For now, though, I’m going to do the best I can by trying to improve my posture. I have a friend whose perfect posture inspires me to sit up straight like a real lady (you know, the British kind that wears gloves and drinks high tea every day at noon and is, sigh, so on top of everything) but since she can’t be at my side all day long I’ll need to remind myself.

Step one (which I took a year ago): Buying a lumbar support cushion for my desk chair. Instant reminder to straighten up.

Step two (let’s call this “in progress”): Stop slouching at home. Just because they say curl up with a good book does not mean I must actually swirl into a catlike ball. Shoulders back. Chin up. Back straight.

That’s better.

Do you have good posture? How do you deal with long hours in front of a computer—and the havoc it wreaks on your body? (And if you don’t have a desk job … well, lucky you.)

And PS: Mosey on over here to enter my beauty product contest. The fun lasts till Friday. And when I say fun I mean you can win a package of 12 never-been-used beauty products.

This is me in my tight-hair-on-top-of-the-head, big-as-you-can-get-scrunchie days. Shut up, it was the early ’90s.

Dear Sister,

Remember that time we ventured into the deep end of the pool? Or when we cut Barbie’s hair into a bob then stuffed the evidence under the couch? Or when we went to see Event Horizon at the drive-in and almost scratched our eyes out from the ridiculousness of the film? Or how about when we had a contest to see who could stuff the most grapes into their mouth (Exhibit A, above)?

Yeah, well a new study says we’re better for it. The study of nearly 400 families found that having a sister makes kids less sad. Which I think is generally true unless you count the times you get yelled at because you’re the older child and that’s just what happens when you’re older. (Grumble, grumble.)

Anyhow. The researchers found that even when you take parenting into account, having a sister made kids happier, less lonely, and so on—whether your sister is older or younger. And having any type of sibling (see, brothers matter too!) makes kids more likely to do good deeds.

So let’s sum up:

Even when she’s screaming at you (not that I did that) or spitting bubblegum into your hair (not that you did that) or stealing that thing you love more than anything else in the world and would die in a fit of rage if anyone took (not that either of us did that), she’s doing you good. One psychologist interviewed here says fighting preps siblings for real life where—shocker—the world isn’t fair.

In other news, your sister can save you from total mutilation by dresser:

Remember that time when you were three and climbed up the dresser, which promptly threw you to the floor and started plummeting to the earth? And remember how I was on the floor, holding the dresser up with my teensy 5-year-old legs while you ran to get Mom?

But that’s another study for another time.

Sisterly Yours,
Tracey

What’s one way your sibling (brother or sister) has helped you become who you are today?

GIVEAWAY: There’s another awesome beauty product contest going on (till Friday, friends), so head here to enter. The world is much prettier in pink, no?

Why hello, Monday. So we meet again. I do everything in my power to avoid you and yet here we are, hours after Sunday, and I’m staring you in the face again. Sigh.

Did everyone have a superawesomeamazing weekend? Did you do all sorts of fun things that make you dread The Monday? Yes, me too. I went to a wedding on Saturday and had the best wedding cake ever.

You know how wedding cake tends to be dry with gross frosting that’s all sorts of sugary—but in a bad way? Well this one was moist like it was baked that morning with frosting so buttery it almost melted. Come to find out, it was made by Duff and the gang at Charm City Cakes (from the show Ace of Cakes on the Food Network). Which totally makes sense seeing as the cake’s design was perfect.

I’d take photos of all this stuff, but I’m not so comfortable putting someone else’s life up here on these interwebs without permission. So just use your imagination, which is often more exciting than real life. Mkay?

In other news, we have a winner of last week’s Totally Awesome Beauty Package giveaway and a whole new contest for you to enter. In my typical Mean Girl fashion, I’m going to give you the details of the new contest before revealing the winner. Muaw ha ha ha.

Here’s what you can win this week. Remember, it’s all never-been-used and it all goes to one lucky woman or man. (Yes, I said man. Guys, go ahead and enter then either pass it on to your girlfriend/wife/mother/whatever or regift. Girls love presents.)

1. Umberto Beverly Hills travel-sized volumizing shampoo, conditioner, and regular-hold hairspray
2. Origins Clean Energy Gentle Cleansing Oil
3. The Homestead Spa Buttercup Body Polish
4. Fresh Orange Chocolate soap
5. Nars blush in Luster
6. Mally Perfecting Blush in Rosy Pink
7. Laura Mercier mineral eye powder in Graphite
8. Becca Glossy Lip Tint in Afterglow
9. Estee Lauder lip shaping gloss pencil in Sheer Fuchsia
10. Linden Leaves gold mist facial spritz
11. Foot Petals Tip Toes
12. Estee Lauder Private Collection Tuberose body cream (which, by the way, smells like Heaven)

So, previous weeks’ rules still apply:

• You can enter once a day until the contest ends
• There are three ways to enter: Leave a comment, tweet about the contest (the link’s here: http://bit.ly/axaYlN), or become a friend through Google Friend Connect
• You can enter all three ways—or just one.
• The contest will end Friday, Aug. 20.
• I’ll announce the winner on Monday, Aug. 23.

And that’s that. Oh, and last week’s winner is No. 12, Katie at Health for the Whole Self! E-mail me with your full name and address and I’ll get the goods out to you.

Fodder for discussion (though any comment gets you an entry): If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only bring one thing with you, what would it be? And don’t get all smart-alecky and say a boat. Or a cell phone. That’s cheating.

photo by justin bugsy sailor
Do you ford the river? Or take a ferry across? Or caulk the wagon and float it? Oh, decisions!

Guess what? Today is the last day to enter to win my Totally Awesome Beauty Giveaway. Sweet! So head here and up your chances of winning 13 never-been-used beauty products.

Today I might break the Great Health Blogger vow I took in October. (Oh, you didn’t know about that vow? When I stared this blog I had to promise not to veer from the topics of health and fitness and nutrition or risk something terrible. Like an electric shock. Or a trip to Taco Bell.)

But this is worth it. And just because I fear Taco Bell almost as much as I fear coming into contact with any part of Snookie’s skin, here’s a health tidbit for you:

The LA Times talks about “pine mouth,” which is a nasty after-effect of eating rancid or otherwise bad pine nuts. I think the Fit Bottomed Girls talked about this at some point, but I’m too lazy to go find the post. Bottom line: Eat bad pine nuts and taste metal in your mouth for a week or more. Gross, I know. This is the reason I haven’t bought pine nuts in eons.

Anyhow…

Does anyone remember spending their elementary school years fording rivers, fixing wagon wheels, and stockpiling wild boar while trying to make it to Oregon? No, just me?

If there’s one thing that made third grade so utterly amazing, it was the Oregon Trail game. Sure, Ma always got yellow fever and my little brother—who I usually named Dweeb Breath or Giant Dufus—was often bartered away for some more ammunition, but all in all it was a memorable, wholesome game. (I never did make it all the way west to Oregon but c’est la vie on the trail.)

Anyone who played the game should watch this video—a trailer for Oregon Trail: The Movie. No, it’s not really going to be a movie. Yes, it’s awesome.

And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sad. I feel so old now.

photo from Sole

Hey friends, there is still time to enter my Totally Awesome Beauty Giveaway. All the fun (and rules) can be found here. The contest ends Friday, so head over and enter before IT’S ALL OVER!

The dilemma: You’re forced to use custom orthotics or else risk ruining your body mechanics by walking around on flat feet—yet you’d rather not wear closed shoes in 100-degree heat. Do you:

A. Suck it up and throw on a pair of socks and sneakers.

B. Forget the orthotics and slip on flip flops.

C. Duct tape your orthotics to the bottom of your sandals?

I vote for none of the above. Not that there’s technically anything wrong with duct-taped sandals, but it’s just not my thing.

Here’s a brief lesson for anyone who’s never had to wear orthotics (lucky you). They’re shoe inserts that help make up for a too-high arch or flat feet. Because you slip them in your shoes, you’re required to wear a pair that at least have a back and sides. So sandals are out.

For the first two years I wore orthotics I stuck to sneakers, even in summer. Which means that not only was I wearing socks and closed-toe shoes but I also could not wear skirts. (I think the skirt-sneaker look only works with fanny packs and Disney World T-shirts. Unless, of course, you have those cute sneakers which, incidentally, DO NOT FIT CUSTOM ORTHOTICS. Not that I’m bitter.)

Anyhow, then I discovered Sole flip flops, which have arch support and are designed by podiatrists. They’re not the cutest shoes, trust me, but they work well enough. And did I mention they don’t require socks? In summer. No socks. Amazing.

I’m writing about this because I was shopping for my second pair and I thought, Hm, maybe some of my flat-footed readers would be interested in these. And then I thought, Hm, maybe even people who have normal feet would want a pair because they’re really comfortable and so much better for your feet than regular flat flip-flops. (Well, as good for your feet as flip flops can be.)

But don’t think Sole is paying me to say this. Or giving me anything for free. They’re not. Sigh.

Anyhow: Bad feet + Sole flip flops = Happiness.

Anyone ever use Sole? If not, do you wear flip flops or do you heed every single podiatrists’ warning and stay far, far away from those dangerous shoes? (Me neither.)

Remember! You can still enter to win my Totally Awesome Beauty Giveaway. That is, if you like beauty products. Or if you have friends who like them. (Never underestimate the ability to regift.) Interesting in entering? Click here.

Sometimes I see a new health food creation on a blog and I’ll think, That’s genius! Sometimes I’ll sigh, Why didn’t I think of that genius first?!

Example A: Egg whites in oatmeal. That’s genius!

Example B: Almond butter–stuffed dates. Why didn’t I think of that genius first?!

Then sometimes I think: You crazy.

Example C: Kombucha. Ha, yeah right. You crazy.

Talk of the fermented tea is just about everywhere, and as much as I wanted to hear the health benefits all I really heard was this:

Bacteria.

Big giant colony of living bacteria.

Big vat with tea and a giant mushroom of bacteria and yeast.

Mama bacteria patty breeds baby bacteria patty.*

See where I’m going with this?

Drinking it sounded about as appetizing as eating a vat of worms. And in case you don’t know me, I’d rather scoop my eye out with a spoon than eat a vat of worms. (There. That was your daily dose of yuck.)

Anyhow, I really didn’t see the point of drinking tea spiked with bacteria even if it was laced with water from the Fountain of Youth. And then.

You knew that was coming right? And then a family friend said she swore by it. And Averie pinkie promised that I would love it because A. I love tea and B. I love vinegar and this tea tastes vinegary.

Hmm, she had a point. Sometimes I drink tea while eating a salad with vinegar. Kombucha couldn’t be much different than that, right? Besides, I take a probiotic. Isn’t this bacteria just like that? Or the live cultures in my yogurt?

I wasn’t about to just get over my fear, but then I came across this at Whole Foods.

Low and behold, Kombucha exists at the grocery store. So I got it.** (That is, I got it after I checked the bottle to make sure there weren’t any weird floaty mushroom babies in there. All clear.)

I went with the flavored variety so maybe any disgustingness would be masked. At least that’s what I told myself before I took a sip: Oh, Tracey, don’t worry. You won’t taste yeasty bacteria. It’ll taste just like quince.

And you know what? It was good. It tasted like fruity beer. And beer tastes good.

Even The Man liked it. And that’s saying something.

I don’t think I’ll be making my own any time soon—the mushroom still freaks me the heck out—but it’s good to know the bottled version is refreshing and (dare I say it?) tasty.

*No, I did not steal that from a National Enquirer headline. Swear.

**How’s that for carpeing the diem?

Have you tried Kombucha? Thoughts? Do you believe the hype? And now that Kombucha is more or less MIA at the grocery store, how do you get yours?

photo by memckimmy

Well, I’ve lost all faith in Americans.

So the other day, my friends and I were riding the elevator to the parking garage. A man got in on the fifth floor and eavesdropped on our conversation. The whole thing went like this:

“I made an amazing granola bar the other day,” my friend said when I mentioned breakfast.

“You made them yourself?” a random man in the elevator asked. He was staring straight at my friend, a rusty orange chair in one hand.

“Yup,” she said with a shrug.

“Like at home?” He asked. Confusion played across his face. “You can do that?”

In other news, cookies don’t grow on Keebler trees.

A note: Don’t forget to enter my Totally Awesome Beauty Giveaway. Click here to enter to win a package with 13 never-been-used beauty products. Yippee!

Yes, it’s time for Totally Awesome Beauty Package Contest No. 3. Yes, this week’s giveaway is made of 100 percent awesome.

Before we get to that, there’s this:

Should you find yourself in a Blockbuster and in need of some food fast, try a Hot Mama pickle.* Sure, the bag of yellowish liquid looks eerily similar to a urine collection bag, but you’ll get over that. You’ll also get over the idea of Blockbuster video selling the pickle alongside gummy candy and jumbo buckets of popcorn.

Who can resist a thick, floating pickle?

I know what you’re thinking: What would you drink while eating a pickle-in-a-bag? Why, nothing other than crambberry juice, of course.**

So, yeah.

Moving on, thank goodness. I’m giving away another batch of beauty products this week. Whee!

Here are the 13 items you can win this week:

1. Philosophy The Cookbook (a set of three scented soaps)
2. Philosophy Purity Made Simple facial cleanser
3. Philosophy Hope in a Jar moisturizer
4. Crabtree & Evelyn Natural Botanical Body Butter in avocado, olive oil, and basil (this body butters is super silky, by the way)
5. Hempz herbal moisturizer (which smells so much better than it sounds)
6. AETO Botanica bamboo and wild mango fortifying mask for hair
7. Leaf + Rusher Acne Spot Treatment
8. Leaf + Rusher Acne Serum
9. Organic Wear Peachy Glow bronzer
10. Tricia Sawyer Beauty Eye Slept
11. Tarte Inside Out lip gloss powered by Borba, in Nirvana
12. Clinique eye shaper for eyes in Brown Sugar
13. Heart Stoppers Get a Grip shoe hearts (pop one of these on the bottom of your new high heels and prevent skidding—or slipping and falling, which is more my style)

Edited to add: PS guys, just a reminder that I’m not giving away any used products. They’re all never-been-used, never-been-touched (aside from desperately trying to remove any price stickers.)

The old rules still stand:

• You can enter once a day until the contest ends
• There are three ways to enter: Leave a comment, tweet about the contest (the link’s here: http://bit.ly/aFVRmN), or become a friend through Google Friend Connect
• You can enter all three ways—or just one.
• The contest will end Friday, Aug. 13. Yes, Friday the 13th. Be afraid.
• I’ll announce the winner on Monday, Aug. 16.

In other news, Jessica at No. 28 is last week’s winner. Three cheers! Just send me your full name and address (e-mail me at tracey@notsuperhuman.com) and I’ll get your winnings out.

To enter you can leave any comment you want, but I understand that total freedom can sometimes make your mind go blank (or is that just me?), so here’s something to think about:

Name a trend you followed in childhood. I’ll go first: I wore those dangerous slap bracelets with pride. Because, of course, nothing says fashion like a piece of metal clothed in fuchsia leopard print fabric.

* Heck no, I didn’t try that thing.

** This is what happens when editors go to breakfast together.