life: super powers not included

Category — Free Stuff: Sweet!

Moving, Giant Burgers & A Winner

Right now I’m moving.

OK, to be honest, I’m sitting around as the pros move. If you’ve never hired movers let me tell you: It’s the way to go. Best. Idea. Ever.

There are three things I want to tell you in this (short) post:

1. Someone made a 24-ounce burger. When I waitressed, my restaurant served a pound-and-a-half burger. That looks like a slider compared to this behemoth:

Giant burgersource

On that note, I’m never taking The Man to Long Island City because I know for a fact he’ll want to order this and prove he’s man enough by devouring the entire thing. And then I have to hear him whine about his stomach ache and heart palpitations.

2. The winner of the case of Cascade Ice is…

Oh, first, I wanted to tell you to have a good weekend.

And that I’ll be unpacking all weekend.

Dogs and Movingsource
But why does the box have to gooooo?

And when I want to find that thing I put in a special box because I couldn’t lose it, I’ll be running around the house, razor in hand, opening every box in the place. You know it’ll be in the last box I open.

So, yeah. And now for the winner!

Oh, I forgot to tell you: I live across the street from a Whole Foods.

There goes the budget.

I’m taking donations.

And now to what you really want to know (and possibly already do if you skipped my babbling). According to random.org, the winner of the Cascade Ice case is …

Number 10! That’s Suzy Greer. Congratulations! E-mail me at tracey(at)notsuperhuman(dot)com and I’ll make sure Cascade Ice knows where to send the goods.

Everyone else, thanks for entering and this is your consolation prize:

Q4U: What are you WINNING at?

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March 11, 2011   27 Comments

A Contest to Cure Your Case of the Mondays

Cascade Icesource

Oh look, another Monday. Don’t you love how they just sneak up on you like that?

Yeah, me neither. Maybe I can cheer you up.

First, if you commented on my bumper sticker post before last Friday e-mail me with your address and I’ll ship one off to you.

So, a few weeks ago Cascade Ice sent me a sample of sparkling water and juices. They’re free of sugar, sodium, carbs, caffeine, and gluten. Oh, and they’re really good.

The Man loved Orange Mango while I was a huge fan of the sparkling water with lemon zest—simple but refreshing. The Man drank the Pomegranate Berry, too, but said he’d buy Orange Mango over that any day. So, yeah, the Great and Powerful Oz has spoken.

If you’re trying to give up soda, these are great substitutes. Plus, they’re lower in calories than juice: Each has two calories and the sparkling water’s calorie-free.

I was thinking about who might like one of these when I realized you’d all be coming here with a full-blown case of the Mondays. And what better way to start the week than to GIVE AWAY A CASE OF CASCADE ICE in a bunch of flavors? (OK, maybe I could be giving away a free trip to Bali, but take what you can get, folks.)

How to win: Be the randomly selected winner.

Just kidding. There are a number of ways to enter but one’s mandatory. You have to go to Cascade Ice’s Facebook page and “like” it. That’s easy, right?

Here’s how you get additional entries:

Leave a comment on this post (+1)

Tweet about this giveaway (+2)

Blog about this giveaway and link back here (+3)

Send me a check for $50 (+100)

After that, fill out the form below. The contest is open until Thursday at midnight. You can enter as many times as you like (for instance, if you comment now but write a blog post later, just come back and re-fill out the form.)



Any comment will get you an entry, but since it’s Monday and you’ll likely want to think as little as possible, why not tell me your favorite drink.

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March 7, 2011   26 Comments

Giveaway Time

Blogger bumper stickerphoto from we heart it

Hello old friends.

Anyone watch the Oscars last night? I’m a sucker for these award shows. I was beyond excited to see the Billy Crystal-like opening. (And the actual Billy Crystal. Double score.) When he put himself in each of the Best Picture–nominated films I would crack up. I thought Anne Hathaway and James Franco did a great job with that.

(Also, how awesome was that fake compilation of musicals?)

In the spirit of winnings, I thought today would be a good day for a giveaway. Yippee.

When Build A Sign contacted me, I wondered about its usefulness. I mean, I’m at least a year a way from running for public office. Also, I don’t do the marathon thing, so race day posters were out.

But then I saw the bumper stickers*. I’m {not} Superhuman bumper stickers? Um, heck yeah.

So I created this:

NS Bumper Sticker

And the company sent me a bunch of square bumper stickers. And I’m giving some away.

But, wait, there’s more! You can also win…

A new car! Just kidding. You can win a poster I made at Build A Sign. I don’t have an image for that, but I promise it’s purty. Plus, the words I’m Not Superhuman are found nowhere on it.

How do you win? It costs one comment. Tell me, if you could put anything on your own bumper sticker, what would it say? (Humor appreciated.)

*If you want to make your own bumper sticker, click the image in my left sidebar.

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February 28, 2011   46 Comments

Fitness Book Giveaway

TheGreatFitnessExperiment

You guys, today you are so lucky.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I wrangled you an awesome prize.

(OK, that might be a lie. Our gift giver is nice and sweet and required no wrangling.)

Anyhow, remember when I reviewed Charlotte Hilton Andersen’s new book, The Great Fitness Experiment: One Year of Trying Everything? And I quote:

Charlotte’s book is just as hilarious as her blog (and if you haven’t read that yet—go.) And anyone who can make a Princess Bride reference and successfully use the word wussitude in a book about working out has my seal of approval.

I still stand by that. Well, today, you can enter for a chance to find out just how great the book is. First, Charlotte was a good sport and answered some of my ridiculous questions…

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you at the gym?
A better question would be what have I done that isn’t embarrassing? I humiliate myself so often that I’ve had to categorize them: wardrobe malfunctions (like the day I cut up a t-shirt in an attempt to be trendy and had it literally disintegrate on my body during the workout—thank heavens for sports bras!), equipment screw ups (I once tangled my feet up so badly in the TRX it took 2 personal trainers to unhang me from the ceiling) and, the worst of all, when my body betrays me (the time I accidentally “freaked” on my aerobics instructor or when I accidentally hit a male Gym Buddy’s crotch or how about the time I yelled a curse word right when the music stopped in the middle of a class or—I can’t believe I’m telling you this—my panty liner got detached from my pants during a really intense workout and came out of the leg of my pants in a little sticky clump on the gym floor… aaaaggghhh! ). Shall I keep going?

Would you rather run five miles next to someone with knock-you-out body odor or use a weight machine covered in someone else’s sweat?
Give me pools of other people’s bodily fluids any day! I have a very sensitive nose—drug store cologne has been known to literally make me barf (made for some bad dates in high school!)—but a surprisingly high tolerance for ick.

If you could create your own fitness class, what would it be? Give it a catchy name, too, like Body Pump or Zumba, please.
Easy: The Rapper Guy Girlfriend’s Workout. You know, from Sir Mix-a-lot’s feminist treatise, Baby Got Back. It would be a whole class designed to pump up your butt. Pole dancing, lunges, squats – whatever it takes to get someone to say about you “Oh. my. gosh. Becky, look at her butt! She must be one of those rapper guy’s girl friends”!

A brief interruption: Is that not the best group fitness class ever? Yes, yes it is.

Boil all of your fitness knowledge down into one 140-character tweet.
Here’s my tweet: My fitness secret: Everything works. Until it doesn’t. Learn to embrace change because it’s going to happen to you anyways!

And now, your chance to win the book. Just leave a comment here answering the following question:

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you at the gym?

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December 15, 2010   55 Comments

Homemade Miso Soup

Miso Soup

FIRST! I never told you when my Tipu’s Chai giveaway ended, did I? Bad blogger. I’m continuing it through today. So head here if you want to win a bag of chai mix.

A few years ago, I would have scrunched up my nose at miso soup. (In case you’re wondering, it’s not a good look for me.) Even when I started liking vegetarian sushi, I passed on the free miso.

  1. It was cloudy.
  2. There were chunks of white blobs floating in it.
  3. Seaweed.
  4. Seriously, what’s with the cloudiness?

Right.

But the more I read about miso and how it’s really just soybeans and how it’s really good for you—healthier than broccoli soup or lobster bisque, can you believe it?—I decided I should probably try the stuff before I proclaimed my supreme hatred. And…

… it was pretty good. OK, I liked it. Alright, I’ve been craving it for the past three weeks.

The Man and I got miso last time we got sushi, but ever since that time I’ve been craving it even more. (I suspect this is what a crack addict feels like. Yet not quite as well groomed.)

In a fit of miso lust, I scoured the Internet for recipes. And then I found this one. Since I’m not a big fan of tofu, I modified it.

Folks, making miso is ridiculously easy. I’d tell you the steps, but you can view them here. It basically involves boiling water, whisking in some miso, and adding your protein or veggies. I used spinach, shiitake mushrooms, red pepper flakes, and soba noodles.

Miso Soup 2

Tip: As pretty as full-length soba noodles are swirling around the bowl, do yourself a favor and break them in half before boiling. Without chopsticks it’s nearly impossible to scoop a full noodle onto a spoon. (Though doing it made The Man and I feel like we were competing in a Minute to Win It challenge.)

Have you ever made miso soup? If so, what do you put in it? I’m looking for good ideas.

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December 8, 2010   21 Comments

And Now You Win Free Chai

Tipu's Chai

Remember yesterday when I told you about my adventures in making iced chai? Remember when I told you how easy it was? If not, you were either MIA or have the memory of an earthworm. If it’s the latter, I feel sorry for you and hope you win this giveaway.

(And, in that case, read all about it here.)

Today, though, Tipu’s has offered to give a 4-oz. bag of chai—you can make both hot and iced with the mix—to one reader here.

Here’s how you enter the giveaway. Do one of the following:

  1. Like Tipu’s Chai on Facebook.
  2. Follow TipusChai on Twitter.
  3. Tweet the following: I want to win @TipusChai at http://bit.ly/fbKFGJ

Come back and let me know what you did or else I’ll have to award the prize to the person with the strangest middle name.

(You should know, I almost made a lame joke in No. 3, writing something like, “Tweet the following: I love @NotSuperhuman!!” But then I thought someone scanning this post might actually do it. Not that they wouldn’t deserve it—they skimmed, after all. But I figured things could get out of hand from there.)

So! Tweet and follow and like to your heart’s content. Then hit the comments. (EDITED: There’s now a better photo of what you’ll be winning up there. Enjoy, folks.)

Random! Question! Of! The! Day!: Favorite piece of winter clothing? For me, it’s wool turtleneck sweaters.

But first, if you’ve seen Inception, you NEED to see this. (If you haven’t seen Inception, back away slowly.)

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December 7, 2010   24 Comments

I Think We Have A Winner

I blog, therefore I amphoto by alamodestuff

Why hello there. Hey look, it’s Friday.

Hey look, I’m off today.

Right at this very minute (unless of course you’re reading this after 12 p.m. or on Saturday or Sunday), I’m headed to the doctor to discuss lab results for this EM. I’m really hoping he has some good news. As in, he figured out what’s causing the EM and happens to know an easy, quick way to fix it.

Expect updates next week. Pray for a good update or else fear a post like this:

All of my tests came back clean AGAIN and all I want is to be SEVERELY DEFICIENT in something, anything or to have contracted some DISEASE but no, I’m HEALTHY. STUPID HEALTHY.

(tears)

In other news, The Man and I have done so well with sticking to a meal plan this week. You’ll remember how we gave in to the pizza craving and ordered a pie last Thursday. Well, last night we gave in to the pizza craving and made our own.

A. We saved twenty bucks.

B. It was so easy.

C. It was so good.

D. Yeah, the good thing again.

We used Trader Joe’s dough and a jar of tomato puree instead of sauce since I generally hate every sauce I eat unless it’s at an Italian restaurant. (Seriously, don’t ask. Let’s leave it at this: I’m a picky eater.) Then we topped it with fresh mozzarella and finished it with basil. Oh my goodness … see C and D.

In other news, we have a winner of my Blogaversary Contest. This winner gets a batch of homemade cookies and some beauty products. It’s a pretty great package.

Random Number Generator says … #9

Heather C, you’re a winner! Send your address to tracey (at) notsuperhuman (dot) com and I’ll get baking.

Since the price of an entry was a question, I thought I’d answer Heather’s right now. I’ll get to the rest next week.

She asks, How do you find the time to blog everyday? Do you write several blogs over the weekend for during the week or do you really write one a day?

I’m not going to pretend I’m even slightly as busy as anyone with kids. I’ve been around my nieces and nephews and I know how crazy tiring it can be after even one day. (On a side note: Kids are forever in motion. Even when they’re resting. I therefore surmise that mothers are forever exhausted.)

I do, however, think I’m pretty busy. Because we only have one car and The Man works 30 minutes away—which is one to two hours away in D.C. time—we have to get up really early in the morning.

I usually get to work around 7:15—give or take a few red lights—so The Man can wade through the parking lot that is Northern Virginia. I work until The Man makes his way back through D.C. traffic, which can be anywhere from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m.

Then there’s the whole make dinner, do the dishes, make tomorrow’s lunch, get ready for bed thing. Usually there’s a couple hours in there for relaxing.

And that is when I do my blogging.

I think it would be brilliant to write a bunch on the weekend. Genius even. However, on the weekends I kind of go into a no-blog zone. I don’t read ’em. I don’t write ’em (aside for Monday’s). Unless there’s special circumstances, I don’t work on it.

I’m OK with that. I need “me” time.

Speaking of “me” time … I’m signing out.

If you own a blog, do you usually post on weekends? If so, does it every wear you out? Do you keep up with your blog list on weekends or do you take some away-from-the-computer time?

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October 15, 2010   16 Comments

I’ve Been Busy

Tracey Beach

So here I am. One year later.

Here’s the good thing about having a blog: When I look back over the year it’s really easy to pinpoint exactly what I was doing. It makes me wish I blogged when I was twelve. (Because, really, what was that year like?)

So I started this blog because my knees gave out a couple times over the years and I figured, hey, there must be some other people out there who are also young but cursed with 80-year-old knees.

I heard blogs should enter the community with a bang, and while I thought an inaugural 21-gun salute would be nice, I had trouble arranging it. Instead, I let a doctor stab me in the knee 21 times, which was just about as pleasant as it sounds. (It’s painful, I promise, but it’s not that bad. Worse: the humiliation that comes from using a wheelchair in the airport because your knees can’t take the long terminals.)

Tracey Gazebo

Next up: The annual move. You see, I have moved every single year since graduating college in 2004. It’s like a ritual I commemorate by whining, wandering around the house aimlessly and complaining that we have too much junk and not enough space.

In January I lamented my freezing feet, which is, for obvious reasons, laughable now. (Equally as laughable: I now own four pairs of those socks with no prospects of ever wearing socks again.) I also unknowingly hinted at what I think is an early sign of EM when I mentioned my hot, burning knees. Yet another reason I love my blog: It remembers my medical history better than I can.

Back at the gym, I tried this NFL player’s squat and totally impressed some random woman who in turn totally made my week. (Can you tell I’m still giddy?)

And then we got snowed in and the state of Virginia shut down and the world was ending and the grocery stores were mobbed and we were going to starve and oh my goodness it was snowing again!

Oh, and a cute puppy and hysterical monkey happened.

Ahem, so February was cool.

In March, I learned some hard facts about gym life (I’m still scarred by No. 10), had some cool/not cool things happen (including a really painful toenail incident), and got hooked on The Biggest Loser even though I object to the never-ending product placements.

(On a side note: I’m currently chewing Extra Sugar Free Gum. It’s a great way to keep my mouth busy when I want to dive into that hunk of chocolate cake.)

Tracey Winery

And, after months of biting our nails and vomiting anxiety all over our nice white carpet, The Man got a job.

Come spring, I fought killer allergies (Tracey: 0, Allergies: 10), which incidentally look a lot like Gremlins. I also gave you my all-time best massage tips because I apparently had a crick in my back then, too. Some things never change.

Lots of other things happened, like:

I shared my vinegar addiction with you and revealed the best vinegar ever. Which reminds me, I need to buy more fig balsamic.

I turned 28 and my sister actually came to visit me in Virginia for the first time. Too bad the weather wasn’t nice, what with Hell freezing over and all of those pigs flying around.

I stole some memos from gym management and let’s just say I agree with them 100 percent. Spot on, folks.

And, oh look, I was getting massive headaches back then, too. What fun! Which is why I wrote about the 10 best ways to get rid of a headache.

Then I delivered my manifesto on some overrated and underrated things, which obviously include onions because onions make life worse. And found out that, like my knees, my left foot hates me. And I may have gone completely overboard with my addiction to Lost. Don’t judge.

Tracey and The Man

The Man and I kicked off June with a bang, touring wineries in Charlottesville. I then revealed the secrets of being a writer, but shhh that’s between us.

I also was tired. Very, very tired.

Not much has changed. Finally, I told you the story about how The Man and I met, which is really the story about how I pursued The Man, got rejected, then got asked out. It’s a heartwarming tale for any single girl.

We celebrated our four-year anniversary. We’re old.

So July, huh? Um, cute puppy, silly monkeys, and The Man during puberty. Go git ’em. Right, and I also became officially ancient when AARP sent me my card. Sigh. And I got all mushy-gushy about you.

Aw, how sweet.

Speaking of sweet, there was this thing about that drug Sugar and some info on high-fructose corn syrup. I may have used the words unicorn and lard in the same post.

Tracey Race Track

Which brings me to September, in which I reveal my the fact that my feet burn nonstop like someone threw molten lava on them. Yippee!

To which I said: I’m tired.

And that, my friends, is it. 365 days in a walnut shell.

Oh, and about that contest. You can still enter—just leave a comment on this post (or on the original post) asking me any question you like. You can enter twice if you want. Or 12 times, I really don’t care. As long as there’s a comment with your name and a question, you’re in.

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October 13, 2010   16 Comments

The Not Superhuman Blogaversary Fiesta

Party Animalphoto by pretty in print
It’s a party animal. Get it?

I can’t believe this. It’s October 2010. Normally hitting Oct. 1 is anticlimactic for me, but this year it’s right up there with Oct. 31. And that’s saying a lot since I can’t excuse eating 41 mini candies today like I can on Halloween. (Not that I overdo it on Halloween. Psh.)

This year it’s special because I’ve officially been blogging for one year. That’s 365 days. I know.

This is particularly important since, when I started, I figured I’d quit some time around Thanksgiving. I mean, I quit Brownies and ballet growing up, why not blogging?

Well, I proved myself wrong. Take that 2009 Tracey.

Not only have I kept it up, but I’ve enjoyed it. And I enjoy you. And I enjoy knowing that someone somewhere out in this wild Internet world is reading my nonsense. I don’t get it, I just accept it.

So to celebrate (commemorate? memorialize?) this occasion, I thought I’d do a series I’ve cleverly name Blogaversary: The Series. (Seriously, the mind? It Never. Stops. Working.) Anyhow, here’s what you can expect during this edge-of-your-seat, heart-pounding series:

1. A trip down Memory Lane. (My Memory Lane, that is. You can take your own trip with your own memories if you want, but I can’t help you with that.) I’ll recap the year without making you snooze (fingers crossed) and link to some of my most favoritest posts ever.

2. Secrets revealed. OK, not really secrets per se but more like some things about me you probably don’t know but might find interesting. Or not. And I promise not to include “I hate onions” on that list because I think most of you got that by now. And if you missed those posts? I HATE ONIONS. There.

3. You questions, answered. More on that later.

4. The contest. Did you seriously think I’d hold a birthday party without goodie bags? (You did? What kind of mother of the birthday blog do you think I am? Seriously people.) The winner will get a Prize Package of Totally Cool Things, which will include a batch of homemade cookies and some beauty product freebies. It may include other things, but you’ll just have to be surprised.

Entering the Blogaversary Contest is easy: Leave a comment here asking me anything you want. It can be about anything—healthy living, blogging, my laundry list of medical problems, the possibility of life on another planet, whatever. (But if you don’t ask a question, you’re not entered. Which is cool. I’ll still love you if you say, “Hi” in the comments.)

You can enter as many times as you like until Thursday, October 14. I’ll announce a winner on Friday.

And just to get us going, here’s how the Q&A might work…

Hey Tracey, now that your most favorite show of all time is over, what do you watch on TV?
First, a moment of silence for Lost.

So, it’s over and the networks are busy trying to serve us crap and call it Lost-like. Mm hm. The only thing that even comes close is Fringe. So I watch that …

… and, ya know, other shows that leave me disappointed. (I’m looking at you Bones. You should be ASHAMED of that pathetic storyline.)

If you were a secret agent, what would be your weapon of choice?
You know, I always go back and forth on this one. Nun chucks are obviously cool, fun, and useful—a triple threat. But then again, I’d hope I was the kind of agent who could take a guy out with her bare hands. So I’ll go with that.

Butter pecan or mint chocolate chip ice cream?
Neither. Chocolate chip cookies.

See? Not so hard. So go ahead and ask away…

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October 12, 2010   36 Comments

In Which I Bake My Cereal

DSC_0004

I generally don’t eat cereal from Monday through Friday. Those days are reserved for oatmeal, and as much as I’ve gone through periods of being completely sick of it (you know, like when I swore it off for good—I thought) it’s really the best weekday option.

Because I will not wake up even two minutes earlier to make breakfast at home. Because I’m sleep deprived. And I’m a very good sleeper.

Where was I? Oh, right—my teenage-like sleep tendencies. And the fact that it’s all oatmeal all the time during the week. But on the weekends? I crave cereal. The cold stuff, skim milk. Somehow it’s like a treat, which sounds really pathetic.

For the past four or so months, I’ve made this ritual cereal combo: Half a bowl of Puffins, half a bowl of Uncle Sam.

I love both, so I was excited when Uncle Sam asked if I wanted to share the love.

They were all, Hey, wanna give a box to your readers?

And I was all, Heck yeah, because maybe they can make their own cereal combo.

They were all, Sweet, hold a contest will ya?

And I was all, Of course. Sounds like fun.

I also decided to cook with it because A. why not, and B. I had the remainders of a box just sitting around and I wanted to use it up before breaking into the brand spankin’ new box Uncle Sam sent over. (Don’t tell me I’m the only one who likes new stuff that sparkles and all.)

Chaos ensued.

Not really. This ensued:

DSC_0036

That’s soy sauce. One tablespoon.

DSC_0063

That’s honey. Two tablespoons.

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This is The Man whisking away.

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And this is the chicken soaking up the sauce.

DSC_0086

Look, now we’re shake ‘n’ baking in Uncle Sam cereal. Oooh, ahhh, flaxseeds. I love that part.

DSC_0090

This is the cereal-coated chicken, topped with almonds because almonds makes everything better.

DSC_0002

Oh, and see? It’s all cooked. And delicious.

So, who wants a box? I’ll tell Uncle Sam to send you one for the price of a comment. Tell me what cereal you’d combine with Uncle Sam to make the Ultimate Bowl of Cereal.

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September 30, 2010   31 Comments

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