Category — Fitness

photo by trey campbell
Ice, ice, baby.

Thank you all for your comments about P90X. The Man gives you a big thumbs up. (OK, fine, you caught me. He didn’t do that. He smiled. I just thought that made him sound goofy.)

So apparently there’s another side effect of P90X—other than giant guns, abs of steel, and a strange love-hate relationship with Tony Horton. It whip your non-P90X spouse into gear.

On The Man’s first day with the videos, I laid on the couch, scribbling down his reps while he sweated his innards out. I was nursing a brain-exploding headache, which made walking hurt.

But Tuesday, head cleared and running smoothly again, I hit the gym while The Man bounced around the living room. Inspired by his hard work, I decided to really push myself. I’d been going really easy for a while, attempting to keep my plantar fasciitis on the road to recovery.

So I hopped on the bike, told my left foot to quit its whining, and peddled like I was escaping a convoy of bandits brandishing machetes. Or, um, like I was in a race.

Either way: Major concentration.

You know you’re in the zone when Vanilla Ice comes on the iPod and you don’t realize it.

And you know you grew up in the ’90s when you leave it on until you almost rap “check out the hook while my DJ revolves it” to the whole gym.

(Um, no clue why I have Vanilla Ice on my iPod. I smell a prank. While I admire Mr. Ice’s hair, I much prefer Sir Mix-A-Lot)

So there. P90X delivers results even if you don’t do the workout. Horray. Maybe that can become part of the marketing copy.

Finally, in case you’re curious, my knees took the hard ride (and strength training) like champs. I wish I could say the same for that other part of my body. Coughfootcough.

So, what ’90s song do you secretly jam out to? Or which’90s song do you wish you could jam out to?

photo by edd sowden

I never thought this day would come.

Let me backtrack a little. For most of our marriage, The Man has been the kind of person that associates McDonald’s with the gym. As in:

TRACEY: Hey, let’s go to the gym.

THE MAN: Really? No, let’s get McDonalds!

TRACEY: The gym.

THE MAN: I’m sooo tired! And I want McDonalds.

You get the idea.

Recently he’s been better about getting to the gym because we go together after work. Still, he has a hard time pushing himself or knowing what to do. So he ends up running and then wandering from machine to machine, aimlessly like a lost sheep.

Well. You can imagine my surprise when The Man said he wanted to do P90X. At first, I laughed. Then I realized he was serious. And then I told him we weren’t spending that kind of money on a workout video when he can’t regularly get to the gym we already pay for.

But little by little I became convinced that the structure is just what he needed. And besides, he has a goal to work toward. Which means that in 88 days he will be a P90X grad.

Did you catch that? 88 days. That means he’s done two already. Day one kicked his butt bigtime. I had my cell nearby in case I needed to call 911, but he survived. After that hour he was panting hard but at least he was breathing. Day two also kicked his butt, but what do you expect? A miracle?

Now he’s walking around the house like a cowboy with bruised arms. Every motion—picking something up off the floor, moving a book—is accompanied by a long, loud groan.

In case you’re wondering: I’m not doing the workouts with The Man because ye ol’ knees can’t take the jumping and lunging and squatting that the crazy video throws at you.

Any P90X survivors out there who want to give The Man any words of wisdom? Feel free to comment as long as your wise words don’t include STOP NOW! TURN BACK! GO NO FURTHER! OMINOUS! OMINIOUS! DOOM!

For the rest of you: Do you do workout videos? Which is your favorite?

Only I …

Could hurt my foot …

photo by genewolf

Make a speedy appointment with the podiatrist …

photo by clintjcl

Get a list of physical therapy exercises …

photo by ex-smith

Do them with care …

photo by twenty_questions

And end up hurting*

photo by oakleyoriginals

Only me.

*In case you’re wondering, toe raises can cause massive, painful shin splints if you have weak chicken legs.

photo by sarahfelicity

Hmm, life apparently goes on after Lost. Go figure.

Aside from feeling exhausted after my Lost marathon last night, today was pretty good. It was the first day in almost a week that I didn’t have a mind-blowing headache. And I use that word negatively. As in I was two seconds from blowing my mind to smithereens.

(On Friday, I know I made it home from work but I’m ashamed to say I drove with that headache. I think it would have been safer to drive with a few beers and six shots of vodka in me. I was so out of my mind from the pain, I had an entire conversation with my mother but can’t remember anything. Except that she thanked me for something.)

Whew. Thank goodness for Monday. I should tag this post Things I Never Thought I’d Say.

So, in honor of my head pain–free day, I wanted to share a stretch that is so awesome you’ll wish I wrote about this years ago. (That wouldn’t have been possible, of course, because I just learned about it a week ago. And because I wasn’t blogging years ago. But you get the point.) [Read more →]

photo by fotoosvanrobin

Well, I’m finally wrapping my head around having another injury. Sure, it’s not cartilage damage. But isn’t a paper cut either, folks. The bad news is that my foot hurts. The good news is I’m not even close to being depressed about this. The way I see it, the pain doesn’t touch what I go through with my knees. And I’ve only had foot pain for a couple of weeks. I guess I’ll start to get bummed when I go on a year. Or, oh, six. (Evil stare at knees.)

So I’m hopefully optimistic (I said that in a really chipper voice that sounds just like everyone else who uses that phrase) I’ll be able to overcome this injury with physical therapy. It seems from what you all said, I’m not likely to be in pain for years. From there, it will be all about prevention. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned from my knee pain, it’s that an injury never goes away. (No, it comes back with a wild vengeance and then taunts you for years and years and years.)

For the record, I’m the only non-athlete I know with this many sports injuries. I’m not sure how I get them all what with the lack of running, jumping, walking, and general fitness in my life.

If any of you real athletes would like to take ‘em off my hands, let me know. I hear runners are prone to Runner’s Knee (go figure) and I have two up for grabs. I’m also giving away the left and right foot, each with their own injury for added fun. All I ask in return is for your uninjured body parts. And a signature next to “No Returns.”

So, to be kind to all my non-injured readers (and to prove I’m not jealous of you at all) I’m going tell you about an article I read today. And, no, it doesn’t say people who are injured all the time live longer muwahahaha. Ahem.

The article reported on a study from University of Georgia researchers who found that eating ginger daily can reduce the muscle pain you feel after exercise. If you hate ginger, here’s the good new: The study was done with ginger supplements. I’m sure you can eat it, too, but it’s not a prerequisite to feeling like a million bucks the day after a workout.

I feel only so-so about ginger, but I do have a strangely intense desire to try ginger tea. I’d grate some ginger and boil it like tea leaves in water. Then I’d strain the ginger and add lemon and honey. Or maybe I’d leave the grated ginger in the cup so my abs don’t hurt from tonight’s crunches.

Are you a ginger fan? How do you like it? (Like most foods, I prefer this candied.)

photo by emanuela franchini
Searching for foot photos was possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve done all day. Fetishist I am not.

Yesterday, The Man’s heart sent him a nice but stern letter. I understand that the heart’s the heart, and everything about it is all lovey-dovey. But you know what? My body could learn a thing or two from it. Case in point, the nasty letter I received from my foot a couple weeks ago:

Dear Girl Up There,

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

See ya,
Your Left Foot

Naturally, I had to respond to find out what was so funny. And here’s the letter I received today:

Dear Girl Up There,

I was just laughing at how pathetic you are. So pathetic. Righty here was telling me about the Achilles tendonitis he gave you a few months ago. How’s that rehab going for you? Bwahahaha. I guess you’ve noticed, but I’ve decided to hurt you, too. What? You think only Knees want to be featured on your blog? That they’re the only body part that deserves to be coddled and fawned over day in and day out? You think I’ll just put myself up on a chair and let you get away with that? Ha! You’re even dumber than I thought!

No way, lady. From now on, I deserve attention, too. So I see your knee pain and Achilles tendonitis and I raise you plantar fasciitis. Take that! See how you like it when your arch aches and your heel feels bruised.

I hope your suffering teaches you to appreciate me. Don’t ever take me for granted again.

See ya,
Your Left Foot

So, yeah, that about sums it up. And the podiatrist confirmed today: My left foot has plantar fasciitis. As soon as she flexed my foot and saw the bulging tendon, she knew the cause. She thinks I got it from building up my scrawny calf muscles. The result was tightening of the Achilles tendon and tension in the plantar fasciitis. Sweet. So now in addition to physical therapy for my knees and Achilles tendonitis in my right foot, I’ll be doing exercises for this. I might be at the gym for two hours a day.

Don’t tell my left foot, but there’s some good news. I have a very mild case of plantar fasciitis. (I don’t even feel extra pain when I step out of bed in the morning, a telltale sign of plantar fasciitis.) So, um, yay for positives!

Anyone else had this injury? How long was your recovery? Anyone else have a body that loves getting injured? If not, how do you prevent?

The other day, when I was at a restaurant and deciding whether or not to skip dessert, I had a revelation: I’m oddly opinionated about meaningless things. I have strong opinions about things that matter, too, but that’s normal. My feelings toward nonissues are a bit stranger.

In honor of that realization, I give you five things that are totally overrated. And three that deserve a little more credit.

Overrated: Ice cream
I know I’m not the only person who doesn’t like ice cream. (No, really, I married the other person.) I can’t understand why someone would eat this over cake, cookies, pie, tarts, pastries…

photo by kern.justin

[Read more →]

photo by c0r0

Happy almost-weekend everyone. I’m off work today, which I think is fitting since I worked 40 hours by Thursday morning. So, yeah, I’m just sitting here relaxing.

Ha.

That’s funny. Because I’m really scurrying around the house trying to get as much done as I can before I fly to Buffalo for a fun girls’ reunion. Or, um, my friend’s wedding.

So, about that title, huh? Don’t get any crazy ideas. This isn’t a post about Clint Eastwood. Well, OK, you can have one just for fun:

photo from here

There, get it out of your system. Good. Moving on, here are the good, bad, and ugly revelations of my week:

THE GOOD

photo by presta

I think it was Charlotte who suggested a while back that I freeze my pancakes and toast them at work. Well, after trying that I’d file it under The Brilliant, but then it wouldn’t work with the whole theme I’ve got going on here. So just know that this idea is very, very good. I just throw hot pancakes into a freezer bag straight from the griddle. When I’m ready to eat them, I defrost then toast them. Topped with peanut butter, they’re a delicious but offbeat lunch.

photo by lululemon athletica
Of course that’s how I downward dog.

It’s been 20 centuries since I did yoga (what, I haven’t had knee pain for that long?) but the other day I rolled out my mat and did a podcast from yogadownload.com. My body was screaming at me, and it went something like this: STOP! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO ME? YOU MASOCHIST! STOP THESE KINDA-SORTA-PUSH-UP PLANK THINGIES RIGHT NOW! (Yep, my body talks in all caps. Annoying, I know.) I told it to shut up and I kept going. I’m glad I did, because my body felt strong and all sorts of amazing after. And, um, no knee pain. Woo. Hoo. Next up: Trying these exercises. (Before you start squealing, I’m not pregnant. But I do need to open hips made tight from sitting all day.)

THE BAD

photo by jek in the box

I’m not sure how this happened, but my suitcase is just as big for my two-day trip as it usually is for a weeklong one. I think I have a serious case of Can’tMakeupMyMinditis. Sure, I could just bring the black dress and be done with it. (Maybe use the rest of my day to read a book or take a nap or pluck my eyebrows. You know, seriously fun stuff.) But no, my disease forces me to wonder what would happen if it were cold. Or hot. Or what if I didn’t feel like blue on Saturday? And what would happen if I didn’t pack but suddenly really wanted to wear that eye shadow I used once back in 2006? So I hem and haw and then pack it all. Then I let out a deep sigh and start removing pieces. Apparently The Man needs to bring clothes, too.

photo by dmi82

Because knee pain really isn’t so bad, my body has given me another injury. And this time I’m sure it didn’t just shout in all caps. It did it with attitude, too. LADY, YOUR FOOT’S GOING TO HURT FOR A WHILE, it said. Why? Why can’t you just let me be with my knee pain? BECAUSE I’M YOUR BODY AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. HA HA HA. HA HA. And it laughed an evil laugh, I swear. So here’s the deal: The bottom of my foot hurts and the pain gets worse when I exercise. If it keeps up for a few more days, I’m taking it to the doctor. I don’t need another chronic injury thankyouverymuch.

THE UGLY

photo by brew ha ha

I’m kind of ashamed to say this after confessing about my eggplant mishap here, but here it goes: I roasted eggplant last night for my pasta and I wasn’t impressed. It didn’t burn and it looked OK. I know I should like it and I know I’ve liked it before, but something is off when I make it. I’ll probably try to make it again, but not for a long while. (OK, fine. I’ll make it pretty soon after this fail since I still have another eggplant in the fridge. But after that? We’re going on a break.)

photo from amazon.com

If you’re like me, you’ve probably thought to yourself, I wonder how Regis Philbin stays so slim and trim. (Let’s hope that’s where your thoughts of Regis’ body ends, mkay?) Then check out his old workout video—plus two others, one by a Golden Girl. That’s all I’ll say, then urge you to enjoy the flick.

What are your good, bad, and ugly observations from the week?

photo by D Sharon Pruitt

Well, I’m back. Apparently my skull-splitting headache wasn’t fatal and I will live to see another headache-free day. Phew. That was a close call seeing as last night I was convinced I’d never be rid of the slicing pain. And if you missed my post yesterday about 10 ways to fight headaches, check it out. There are some really good tips in the comments. (I love my readers.)

So, go figure, it’s Wednesday. Normally I’d say that with a deep sigh but today I’m all peppy (couldn’t you tell that through the Internet? Nope? Hm.) because I only have one more day of work till I head to Buffalo for my friend’s wedding. I’m still at that stage where going to friends’ weddings are fun and not a chore. Gimme a few more years and several more weddings, and I might be saying this with a sigh.

The reason I really love going to friends’ weddings (aside from, you know, the wedded bliss the married couple will know from now until eternity; and if you’re married you know I say this sarcastically) is that I get to catch up with my college buddies. These are the girls I traveled throughout New Zealand with. In case you don’t know what it’s like to live in New Zealand for six months with a great group of friends, it goes something like this*: [Read more →]

photo by roberto rizzato
Yes, she really wore this much makeup. No, I’m not kidding.

Dear Woman with Too Much Makeup,

We can tell you’ve never experienced a gym before, so we’d like to bring something to your attention: You must share the machines. Management has checked the books and discovered that other members do in fact pay to use the gym, too. Frankly, we are as shocked as you are. Thus, going forth, you will not be allowed to dump all of your gear onto the leg press machine and walk away for five minutes. Unfortunately, unlike middle school, there is no calling fives at the gym. Or really anywhere else in life. Other members deem it unacceptable to wait for 15 minutes as you wander the gym, relax on the machine, and crank out a single set before repeating the entire process on another machine. We’re sorry for the inconvenience this may cause you.

Kindly,
Gym Management

photo by archangelus gabriel
Dude, you think that girl wants to use this machine we’re talking on?
Nahh, she just loves your short shorts.

Dear Chatty Men,

While Management believes socialization builds fruitful gym relationships, we discourage chitchatting while resting on a machine. While your banter may be enjoyable, other members have expressed concern about your occupying the machines solely for conversation—not for strength training. In the future, step away from the machines and continue your conversation in the conveniently located chairs near the weight room.

Kindly,
Gym Management

photo by lululemon athletica
Psst…We’re going to stay tight. Love, your hamstrings.

Dear Hamstrings,

A certain gimpy member has brought to our attention your stubbornness. It is our understanding that you are staying purposefully tight to spite said member. She appreciates the fact that you actually work. (Unlike other body parts we will not name. Knees.) However, she would appreciate it if you’d loosen after 20 minutes of stretching. Soreness is not becoming. Consider this your final warning: Cut. It. Out.

Kindly,
Gym Management

photo by canon in 2d
To answer your question, of course I can do that. Psht.

Dear Yoga Class,

Management applauds your motivation. However, we’ve been noticing lately how crowded the room has become. Certain members have expressed interest in starting up yoga again, but they’re concerned the jam-packed room may not allow for the attention to injury they require. May we suggest a 6 p.m. power spinning class instead? It’s similar to yoga in that there’s an instructor. Or how about hip hop aerobics? Like yoga, there is an A in the name. It also uses music, which yoga has, too. In closing, get the heck out of that yoga studio. Ahem.

Kindly,
Gym Management