I’m glad you guys liked my story of how I stalked met The Man. You know, there’s a lot to be said for making the first move. I’m extremely shy and a total introvert, but I’m glad I put myself out there. Otherwise, who would be doing my grocery shopping and heavy lifting right now? (Dear The Man: That was a joke.) Seriously though, it works.

Also on that topic but kind of not, tomorrow is my four-year anniversary with The Man. (Incidentally, it’s also my mother’s birthday. We like to keep things easy in this family and group celebrations together.)

So, four years. I’m old. Don’t even remind me that it’s my 10-year high school reunion this year. Crap, now I feel even older.

Anyhow, tomorrow. Right, tomorrow there will be much celebration going on here on the blog. Consider yourself warned.

Now to what I really wanted to say when I opened this bright and clean document: Sometimes celebrities make me want to roll my eyes. Most of the time. But every so often an Anna Paquin comes along that makes it all right again.

I got the latest issue of Self in the mail this week and flipped to the interview with Anna Paquin. The girl’s adorable and really slim. And you know what? She’s not a liar. She told the magazine she eats lots of fruits and vegetables to keep her body in that shape. She also said she works her butt off (probably quite literally) to stay in shape.

Finally a celebrity admits they work hard to look that way. Unlike others—nudge, nudge Cameron Diaz—who claim to drink beers and eat burgers on a nightly basis. I guess I just have a good metabolism, they giggle. Here’s the thing: I have a good metabolism. Really good. But I still eat well and exercise. It’s not a good metabolism that turns regular humans into celebrity sticks. No, it’s lack of calories, lots of exercise. Maybe some illegal drugs, but you know—what happens in rehab stays in rehab. (And US Weekly.)

I’m so sick of reading articles where the celebrity orders a burger or pizza or stuffs her face in macaroni and cheese just for the interview. As if we didn’t know they saved up an entire week’s worth of calories for that very hour.

Needless to say, I appreciate Anna Paquin’s honesty. The end.

What are your thoughts on celebs’ supposed non-diets?

Thank you all for your comments about P90X. The Man gives you a big thumbs up. (OK, fine, you caught me. He didn’t do that. He smiled. I just thought that made him sound goofy.)

So apparently there’s another side effect of P90X—other than giant guns, abs of steel, and a strange love-hate relationship with Tony Horton. It whip your non-P90X spouse into gear.

On The Man’s first day with the videos, I laid on the couch, scribbling down his reps while he sweated his innards out. I was nursing a brain-exploding headache, which made walking hurt.

But Tuesday, head cleared and running smoothly again, I hit the gym while The Man bounced around the living room. Inspired by his hard work, I decided to really push myself. I’d been going really easy for a while, attempting to keep my plantar fasciitis on the road to recovery.

So I hopped on the bike, told my left foot to quit its whining, and peddled like I was escaping a convoy of bandits brandishing machetes. Or, um, like I was in a race.

Either way: Major concentration.

You know you’re in the zone when Vanilla Ice comes on the iPod and you don’t realize it.

And you know you grew up in the ’90s when you leave it on until you almost rap “check out the hook while my DJ revolves it” to the whole gym.

(Um, no clue why I have Vanilla Ice on my iPod. I smell a prank. While I admire Mr. Ice’s hair, I much prefer Sir Mix-A-Lot)

So there. P90X delivers results even if you don’t do the workout. Horray. Maybe that can become part of the marketing copy.

Finally, in case you’re curious, my knees took the hard ride (and strength training) like champs. I wish I could say the same for that other part of my body. Coughfootcough.

So, what ’90s song do you secretly jam out to? Or which’90s song do you wish you could jam out to?

I never thought this day would come.

Let me backtrack a little. For most of our marriage, The Man has been the kind of person that associates McDonald’s with the gym. As in:

TRACEY: Hey, let’s go to the gym.

THE MAN: Really? No, let’s get McDonalds!

TRACEY: The gym.

THE MAN: I’m sooo tired! And I want McDonalds.

You get the idea.

Recently he’s been better about getting to the gym because we go together after work. Still, he has a hard time pushing himself or knowing what to do. So he ends up running and then wandering from machine to machine, aimlessly like a lost sheep.

Well. You can imagine my surprise when The Man said he wanted to do P90X. At first, I laughed. Then I realized he was serious. And then I told him we weren’t spending that kind of money on a workout video when he can’t regularly get to the gym we already pay for.

But little by little I became convinced that the structure is just what he needed. And besides, he has a goal to work toward. Which means that in 88 days he will be a P90X grad.

Did you catch that? 88 days. That means he’s done two already. Day one kicked his butt bigtime. I had my cell nearby in case I needed to call 911, but he survived. After that hour he was panting hard but at least he was breathing. Day two also kicked his butt, but what do you expect? A miracle?

Now he’s walking around the house like a cowboy with bruised arms. Every motion—picking something up off the floor, moving a book—is accompanied by a long, loud groan.

In case you’re wondering: I’m not doing the workouts with The Man because ye ol’ knees can’t take the jumping and lunging and squatting that the crazy video throws at you.

Any P90X survivors out there who want to give The Man any words of wisdom? Feel free to comment as long as your wise words don’t include STOP NOW! TURN BACK! GO NO FURTHER! OMINOUS! OMINIOUS! DOOM!

For the rest of you: Do you do workout videos? Which is your favorite?

Could hurt my foot …

photo by genewolf

Make a speedy appointment with the podiatrist …

photo by clintjcl

Get a list of physical therapy exercises …

photo by ex-smith

Do them with care …

photo by twenty_questions

And end up hurting*

photo by oakleyoriginals

Only me.

*In case you’re wondering, toe raises can cause massive, painful shin splints if you have weak chicken legs.

Hmm, life apparently goes on after Lost. Go figure.

Aside from feeling exhausted after my Lost marathon last night, today was pretty good. It was the first day in almost a week that I didn’t have a mind-blowing headache. And I use that word negatively. As in I was two seconds from blowing my mind to smithereens.

(On Friday, I know I made it home from work but I’m ashamed to say I drove with that headache. I think it would have been safer to drive with a few beers and six shots of vodka in me. I was so out of my mind from the pain, I had an entire conversation with my mother but can’t remember anything. Except that she thanked me for something.)

Whew. Thank goodness for Monday. I should tag this post Things I Never Thought I’d Say.

So, in honor of my head pain–free day, I wanted to share a stretch that is so awesome you’ll wish I wrote about this years ago. (That wouldn’t have been possible, of course, because I just learned about it a week ago. And because I wasn’t blogging years ago. But you get the point.)

Here is the ahh-inducing stretch. Just be warned: Before ahh comes ouch sometimes. As with all stretches, you’re just going to have to push through the discomfort until you become as bendy as Gumby.

Step 1: Find a wall. I like the one right outside my bedroom door, but you can use any empty wall you like. Or live on the wild side and use a non-empty wall.

Step 2: Place your right foot in front of your left.

Step 3: Press your hands up against the wall as if you were trying to prevent it from toppling over.

Step 4: Bend your right knee.

Step 5: Bend your left knee until you feel a stretch in your calf and Achilles tendon (right above your heel).

Step 6: Keep your heel down. If you lift it up, you’re wasting your time … and holding up a wall like a freak.

Step 7 Sink into the pose. Hold for a count of 30. Or 60 if you’re a speed counter.

Step 8: Say ouch-ahh.

Step 9: Switch legs and repeat.

You’ll look like this, but you’ll be pressing against a wall, which makes the stretch that much better.

That’s it. I’ll be honest, the tendon right above my heel was super tight the first time I did this and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. But neither is any deep stretch. Now that I’ve been doing this for a week I can sink lower into the pose before I hit the tight spot.

Why are you stretching like this? To prevent Achilles tendonitis and plantar fasciitis, of course. Because as fun as they sound, those injuries suck.

What’s your favorite stretch? I love Downward Dog or the old favorite hands-to-toes you do as part of the fit test in elementary school. (You know, the test that makes kids feel like losers for not being able to touch their toes.) This is my new favorite.

Well, I’m finally wrapping my head around having another injury. Sure, it’s not cartilage damage. But isn’t a paper cut either, folks. The bad news is that my foot hurts. The good news is I’m not even close to being depressed about this. The way I see it, the pain doesn’t touch what I go through with my knees. And I’ve only had foot pain for a couple of weeks. I guess I’ll start to get bummed when I go on a year. Or, oh, six. (Evil stare at knees.)

So I’m hopefully optimistic (I said that in a really chipper voice that sounds just like everyone else who uses that phrase) I’ll be able to overcome this injury with physical therapy. It seems from what you all said, I’m not likely to be in pain for years. From there, it will be all about prevention. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned from my knee pain, it’s that an injury never goes away. (No, it comes back with a wild vengeance and then taunts you for years and years and years.)

For the record, I’m the only non-athlete I know with this many sports injuries. I’m not sure how I get them all what with the lack of running, jumping, walking, and general fitness in my life.

If any of you real athletes would like to take ‘em off my hands, let me know. I hear runners are prone to Runner’s Knee (go figure) and I have two up for grabs. I’m also giving away the left and right foot, each with their own injury for added fun. All I ask in return is for your uninjured body parts. And a signature next to “No Returns.”

So, to be kind to all my non-injured readers (and to prove I’m not jealous of you at all) I’m going tell you about an article I read today. And, no, it doesn’t say people who are injured all the time live longer muwahahaha. Ahem.

The article reported on a study from University of Georgia researchers who found that eating ginger daily can reduce the muscle pain you feel after exercise. If you hate ginger, here’s the good new: The study was done with ginger supplements. I’m sure you can eat it, too, but it’s not a prerequisite to feeling like a million bucks the day after a workout.

I feel only so-so about ginger, but I do have a strangely intense desire to try ginger tea. I’d grate some ginger and boil it like tea leaves in water. Then I’d strain the ginger and add lemon and honey. Or maybe I’d leave the grated ginger in the cup so my abs don’t hurt from tonight’s crunches.

Are you a ginger fan? How do you like it? (Like most foods, I prefer this candied.)

Yesterday, The Man’s heart sent him a nice but stern letter. I understand that the heart’s the heart, and everything about it is all lovey-dovey. But you know what? My body could learn a thing or two from it. Case in point, the nasty letter I received from my foot a couple weeks ago:

Dear Girl Up There,

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

See ya,
Your Left Foot

Naturally, I had to respond to find out what was so funny. And here’s the letter I received today:

Dear Girl Up There,

I was just laughing at how pathetic you are. So pathetic. Righty here was telling me about the Achilles tendonitis he gave you a few months ago. How’s that rehab going for you? Bwahahaha. I guess you’ve noticed, but I’ve decided to hurt you, too. What? You think only Knees want to be featured on your blog? That they’re the only body part that deserves to be coddled and fawned over day in and day out? You think I’ll just put myself up on a chair and let you get away with that? Ha! You’re even dumber than I thought!

No way, lady. From now on, I deserve attention, too. So I see your knee pain and Achilles tendonitis and I raise you plantar fasciitis. Take that! See how you like it when your arch aches and your heel feels bruised.

I hope your suffering teaches you to appreciate me. Don’t ever take me for granted again.

See ya,
Your Left Foot

So, yeah, that about sums it up. And the podiatrist confirmed today: My left foot has plantar fasciitis. As soon as she flexed my foot and saw the bulging tendon, she knew the cause. She thinks I got it from building up my scrawny calf muscles. The result was tightening of the Achilles tendon and tension in the plantar fasciitis. Sweet. So now in addition to physical therapy for my knees and Achilles tendonitis in my right foot, I’ll be doing exercises for this. I might be at the gym for two hours a day.

Don’t tell my left foot, but there’s some good news. I have a very mild case of plantar fasciitis. (I don’t even feel extra pain when I step out of bed in the morning, a telltale sign of plantar fasciitis.) So, um, yay for positives!

Anyone else had this injury? How long was your recovery? Anyone else have a body that loves getting injured? If not, how do you prevent?

In honor of that realization, I give you five things that are totally overrated. And three that deserve a little more credit.

Overrated: Ice cream
I know I’m not the only person who doesn’t like ice cream. (No, really, I married the other person.) I can’t understand why someone would eat this over cake, cookies, pie, tarts, pastries…

photo by kern.justin

Overrated: Deli meat
Aside from the fact that this doesn’t resemble meat in any way, I can’t take the slimy, wet texture. That’s why I’m the freak who orders a turkey sandwich at Panera then removes the meat to make a veggie ’wich. And yes I know I pay way too much money for some bread, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and cheese. In my defense, it comes with chips.

photo by jen waller

Overrated: Onions
This really deserves its own post, but I won’t do it because I fear hate mail. I still can’t figure out the reason onions are the go-to veggie for 99.9 percent of all dishes. It’s oddly hard to order off a menu when you hate onions. (In case you’re wondering, The Man is the other person in the world who hates them. Onions and ice cream? I knew right then that we were meant to be.)

photo by darwin bell

Overrated: High heels
There was a long stretch of time when I only wore heels. That ended when my knee stopped working, but it got me thinking. Why is wearing heels worth future foot pain? And what makes them so wonderful that we’ll risk bunions and hammertoes to wear them? I’ll admit legs look better in heels. But every day?

photo by markusram

Overrated: Skinny jeans
I like the way skinny jeans look but here’s something no one thought about: knee room. I put on a pair and my knees felt claustrophobic. When bent, they actually hurt. There’s a price I’ll pay for fashion, but pants-induced knee pain is not it.

photo by meredithlikesphotography

Underrated: Popcorn at the movies
I know how many calories are in your average tub of popcorn, but I firmly believe there’s a time to say, “To hell with it.” A movie is not a movie without popcorn. Period.

photo by wahlander

Underrated: Peanut butter and jelly
I get grief every time I bring peanut butter and jelly in to work, like I stole a 7-year-old’s lunch. (That, by the way, would be a convenient way to ensure I don’t go hungry without actually having to make my own meal. Just sayin’.) What’s wrong with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every once in a while? Nothing. That’s what. So please leave the poor pb&j lovers alone.

photo by keaggy.com

Underrated: Air
Once upon a time I breathed in and took oxygen into my lungs. Recently I’ve been getting a lot of nicotine, tar, carbon monoxide, arsenic, acetone, and formaldehyde with it. Where I live, fresh air is really underrated. Apparently management is still working on that.

photo by chroma project

What are your personal over- and underrated picks?

Happy almost-weekend everyone. I’m off work today, which I think is fitting since I worked 40 hours by Thursday morning. So, yeah, I’m just sitting here relaxing.

Ha.

That’s funny. Because I’m really scurrying around the house trying to get as much done as I can before I fly to Buffalo for a fun girls’ reunion. Or, um, my friend’s wedding.

So, about that title, huh? Don’t get any crazy ideas. This isn’t a post about Clint Eastwood. Well, OK, you can have one just for fun:

photo from here

There, get it out of your system. Good. Moving on, here are the good, bad, and ugly revelations of my week:

THE GOOD

photo by presta

I think it was Charlotte who suggested a while back that I freeze my pancakes and toast them at work. Well, after trying that I’d file it under The Brilliant, but then it wouldn’t work with the whole theme I’ve got going on here. So just know that this idea is very, very good. I just throw hot pancakes into a freezer bag straight from the griddle. When I’m ready to eat them, I defrost then toast them. Topped with peanut butter, they’re a delicious but offbeat lunch.

photo by lululemon athletica
Of course that’s how I downward dog.

It’s been 20 centuries since I did yoga (what, I haven’t had knee pain for that long?) but the other day I rolled out my mat and did a podcast from yogadownload.com. My body was screaming at me, and it went something like this: STOP! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO ME? YOU MASOCHIST! STOP THESE KINDA-SORTA-PUSH-UP PLANK THINGIES RIGHT NOW! (Yep, my body talks in all caps. Annoying, I know.) I told it to shut up and I kept going. I’m glad I did, because my body felt strong and all sorts of amazing after. And, um, no knee pain. Woo. Hoo. Next up: Trying these exercises. (Before you start squealing, I’m not pregnant. But I do need to open hips made tight from sitting all day.)

THE BAD

photo by jek in the box

I’m not sure how this happened, but my suitcase is just as big for my two-day trip as it usually is for a weeklong one. I think I have a serious case of Can’tMakeupMyMinditis. Sure, I could just bring the black dress and be done with it. (Maybe use the rest of my day to read a book or take a nap or pluck my eyebrows. You know, seriously fun stuff.) But no, my disease forces me to wonder what would happen if it were cold. Or hot. Or what if I didn’t feel like blue on Saturday? And what would happen if I didn’t pack but suddenly really wanted to wear that eye shadow I used once back in 2006? So I hem and haw and then pack it all. Then I let out a deep sigh and start removing pieces. Apparently The Man needs to bring clothes, too.

photo by dmi82

Because knee pain really isn’t so bad, my body has given me another injury. And this time I’m sure it didn’t just shout in all caps. It did it with attitude, too. LADY, YOUR FOOT’S GOING TO HURT FOR A WHILE, it said. Why? Why can’t you just let me be with my knee pain? BECAUSE I’M YOUR BODY AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. HA HA HA. HA HA. And it laughed an evil laugh, I swear. So here’s the deal: The bottom of my foot hurts and the pain gets worse when I exercise. If it keeps up for a few more days, I’m taking it to the doctor. I don’t need another chronic injury thankyouverymuch.

THE UGLY

photo by brew ha ha

I’m kind of ashamed to say this after confessing about my eggplant mishap here, but here it goes: I roasted eggplant last night for my pasta and I wasn’t impressed. It didn’t burn and it looked OK. I know I should like it and I know I’ve liked it before, but something is off when I make it. I’ll probably try to make it again, but not for a long while. (OK, fine. I’ll make it pretty soon after this fail since I still have another eggplant in the fridge. But after that? We’re going on a break.)

photo from amazon.com

If you’re like me, you’ve probably thought to yourself, I wonder how Regis Philbin stays so slim and trim. (Let’s hope that’s where your thoughts of Regis’ body ends, mkay?) Then check out his old workout video—plus two others, one by a Golden Girl. That’s all I’ll say, then urge you to enjoy the flick.

What are your good, bad, and ugly observations from the week?

Well, I’m back. Apparently my skull-splitting headache wasn’t fatal and I will live to see another headache-free day. Phew. That was a close call seeing as last night I was convinced I’d never be rid of the slicing pain. And if you missed my post yesterday about 10 ways to fight headaches, check it out. There are some really good tips in the comments. (I love my readers.)

So, go figure, it’s Wednesday. Normally I’d say that with a deep sigh but today I’m all peppy (couldn’t you tell that through the Internet? Nope? Hm.) because I only have one more day of work till I head to Buffalo for my friend’s wedding. I’m still at that stage where going to friends’ weddings are fun and not a chore. Gimme a few more years and several more weddings, and I might be saying this with a sigh.

The reason I really love going to friends’ weddings (aside from, you know, the wedded bliss the married couple will know from now until eternity; and if you’re married you know I say this sarcastically) is that I get to catch up with my college buddies. These are the girls I traveled throughout New Zealand with. In case you don’t know what it’s like to live in New Zealand for six months with a great group of friends, it goes something like this*:

Jump over a waterfall (canyoning)…

photo by martin & julia

Roll down a hill in a giant hampster ball (Zorbing)…

photo by misterbisson

Climb a glacier (Franz Josef in the South Island)…

photo by lam snott

Jump off a bridge…

photo by syymza

When you do those kinds of things together, you’re bound to be friends forever.

I think sometimes when we think about health, we forget the whole happiness part. We overlook the fact that getting together with some friends—even if it includes digging into a massive pile of gooey nachos—can be healthy. There I said it (in a roundabout way): Nachos are healthy. If there’s nothing else you take away from this today, it should be that. Kidding.

You might lambaste me for not being a good health blogger but hear me out. Sometimes by putting too much focus on eating virtuously all the time or exercising every day we can lose sight of why we do it: To be in the best shape for enjoying life. If all of that sucks the fun out of life, what’s the point?

I’ve been thinking about this because I read a profile of Dr. Oz in the New York Times. The writer, Frank Bruni, describes Dr. Oz’s meticulous eating habits and then says, “It was the most efficient, joyless eating I have ever seen.” I’d love to be as healthy as Dr. Oz (I’d also like his salary, in case you’re curious), but I never want someone to look at my eating or exercising habits as joyless. That, to me, is sad.

Anyhow, before I become even more philosophical, I’ll end with this: My life is whole not because of what I eat or how often I work out. It’s whole because of those people I eat with, the stories we share, and the physical abilities my workouts give me. I don’t sweat at the gym to be a fitness robot, I do it so my knees can feel good enough to walk around and enjoy life. Because if not that, then what’s the point?

*These aren’t my photos. I went to New Zealand back in the old days, when we used film. And I just couldn’t break apart my scrapbook to scan them in. Maybe someday.

What are your thoughts on how happiness connects to health?