life: super powers not included

I’m Not That Old

Old womanphoto by daskar

Hello, hello.

First off, let me just say that in yesterday’s post I wasn’t trying to say all men are impulsive junk-buyers at the grocery store. As Scott pointed out, some do quite well thank you very much. Just not mine. Mkay?

Another thing you should know is that yesterday I lunched with two bloggers who are just as sweet in real life as they are on their blogs. Maybe nicer, really. Ameena flew to DC all the way from LA just to see me and Estela. Isn’t that wonderful? Don’t try to tell me she was in town for her husband’s work conference. I don’t want to hear it. She came to see us and that’s that.

Moving on.

I know I’ve mentioned on this blog before (like, here) that I’m like a 28-year-old girl stuck in an 85-year-old body. Scratch that. I know some 80-something-year-old women whose knees are more functional than mine. So, yeah, I’m like even older than that.

But this is taking it too far:

AARP CardYes, I deleted some info. You never know who might want to activate my card and start getting freaking awesometastic discounts all over.

Listen, AARP, I may be old in the knees but I’m not that old. Can’t you guys take a joke? So serious over there.

I will be shredding this. Please send another when I start calling 40-year-olds little punks. Or when I start clipping stories out of the newspaper for friends, family, and friends of family because I think they’ll find them relevant. (Like that article about a moose that made friends with some townspeople and was elected their mayor. Or was that an ad? Doesn’t matter! I’m old!)

Then, and only then, send me my card.

Um, anyone else get their AARP card a little too soon? No? Then what do you think will make you old enough to deserve one?

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26 comments

1 Joanna Sutter (Fitness & Spice) { 07.15.10 at 7:34 am }

Oh my gosh…hilarious! I haven’t received my card yet but I get emails, ok spam from them all the time! What’s up with that!?

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Tracey Reply:

I guess they recruit early. Way early.

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2 Estela @ Weekly Bite { 07.15.10 at 8:24 am }

I had so much fun at lunch :)

I can’t believe they sent you an AARP card! That’s a bit much ;)

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3 Kelly @ Healthy Living With Kelly { 07.15.10 at 8:34 am }

Oh my goodness…that is crazy! Did you find out why you got that card….um…like 25 years too early??

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4 Nichole { 07.15.10 at 9:05 am }

HAA! I got my AARP card when I was 16, hand to the sky. Worst present EVER.

Rumor has it, women get better in their 30s!

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Tracey Reply:

OK, Nichole, you win. AARP should be ashamed. 16?!

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5 Amy B @ Second City Randomness { 07.15.10 at 9:08 am }

he he he… I would have kept it and scored 10 cents off coffee and what not. :p Ballin’…

If they question it, just say you got some work done…

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6 Wei-Wei { 07.15.10 at 9:54 am }

Hmm… what IS an AARP card? A card for seniors?!

Wei-Wei

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Tracey Reply:

Yup, it’s a discount card for people age 50 and over. I won’t say it’s for seniors because A. All members aren’t seniors, though some members are and B. My mother would slap me upside the head.

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7 lynn hahn { 07.15.10 at 12:22 pm }

I actually earned mine LOL enjoy the years before you earn yours…

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8 Sagan { 07.15.10 at 12:38 pm }

Tehehe. I should be getting one in the mail soon… I have inherited my grandmother’s teacups and silverware, I fall asleep by 10:00pm, and I carry a grannycart to the grocery store.

There’s definitely an old woman in me somewhere.

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9 Tina { 07.15.10 at 2:03 pm }

I have been popping in on your blog here and there for a bit now and I always love your humor. That’s so funny you got an AARP card sent to you. Kind of makes you wonder how organized they are? Hmmm??? ;)

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Tracey Reply:

Well thanks for stopping to comment today. It makes me happy.

You know what this makes me wonder: Do they have an unlimited budget?

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10 Stacey @ Tipping the (Kitchen!) Scales { 07.15.10 at 4:19 pm }

I have absolutely no idea what AARP is but I’m guessing it’s something you get when you’re old (retired??), so I’ll laugh along with you!

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11 Skyler Meine { 07.15.10 at 6:11 pm }

That is some really early marketing. By the way in my house it is my wife that buys all the junk.

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Tracey Reply:

Let’s never let your wife and my husband go grocery shopping together, OK?

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12 Ameena { 07.16.10 at 12:15 am }

Okay this is really funny…I can’t believe you received an AARP card. The only reason I know what that is, is due to their extremely awkward, very lame tv commercials. I am a Canadian so I doubt I qualify in any case.

It was SO great to meet up Tracey. I am even more jealous of your perfect skin and straight hair than I was before I met you in person. :)

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Tracey Reply:

Ha! I had you fooled. OK, well, I do have straight hair but it’s ridiculously thin so that’s that. But I did fool you on my skin. I’m just an expert when it comes to makeup.

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13 Lauren @ She's a Runner { 07.16.10 at 1:11 am }

I didn’t even know what an AARP card was before I read this! Although I do know that the last Tuesday of every month is senior’s discount day at my local drugstore. We don’t get special cards, but we do have to show ID to prove that we are actually seniors. I don’t know why I’m saying “we”….maybe it is because I feel like an old lady most days. My driver’s license says otherwise though, so no discount for me.

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Tracey Reply:

That’s OK. I group myself in with the senior crowd often. I don’t think I’d pass on looks alone yet. Whew.

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14 Courtney (Pancakes & Postcards) { 07.16.10 at 2:51 am }

Okay, this is seriously hilarious. I wonder who they are sending these to… everyone over 25?! God knows its all downhill from there…

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Tracey Reply:

Oooh…maybe it takes 25 years for them to process each application!? Good thinking!

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15 theemptynutjar { 07.16.10 at 7:59 am }

Sometimes I just want to forget about age. I swear that only compounds my anxiety about all the current stresses. Best to let it go.

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16 the old one on KI { 09.30.10 at 9:03 pm }

Old is just your imagination running away with your mind. Always feel young because life is short and you know what I mean. Love your family, your dog and the grand kids. Always looking for the cure for you. LOL

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Tracey Reply:

I just read the article your friend Charlie sent from the Washington Post. Very interesting. Maybe that can be my answer too!

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17 I’ve Been Busy — i'm (not) superhuman { 10.13.10 at 8:15 am }

[...] monkeys, and The Man during puberty. Go git ’em. Right, and I also became officially ancient when AARP sent me my card. Sigh. And I got all mushy-gushy about [...]

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