How Do You Beat Stress?
photo by blw photography
We’re going to do something different today. I like to keep you all guessing and using your brains because, well, it can prevent Alzheimer’s and that’s probably something we all want to avoid. Like how I snuck that health tidbit in there? That was me helping you. Which brings me to today’s post…
Instead of going on and on and telling you all about the latest stress-related study, I thought I’d ask for your help. Because what’s a blog for if not for getting advice minus the therapist’s bill? (And don’t consider billing me. I won’t send a check.)
Here’s the deal: I’m stressed. I’m fairly certain there’s a great conspiracy going on where the earth has been pushed into warp speed and we’re now circling the sun so fast that we’re left with 12-hour days. I know this is true not because I hacked into NASA computers, but because my days have been cut in half. How else would you explain all the time that’s missing?
While The Man is loving his new job*, I’m not loving the hours. Getting up at 5:45 a.m., starting work at 7, and plugging away until 6:30 p.m. is draining the energy from me. Since I would like to get to bed by 10:30—any later and the next morning I resemble A. an insomniac, B. a hung over frat boy, C. Night of the Living Dead, or D. all of the above—that leaves me three and a half hours to go to the gym, eat, clean up the mess we created while cooking dinner, make tomorrow’s lunch, and get ready for bed. Hence the stress. Because that schedule leaves zero room for de-stressing. And that fact stresses me out. (See where I’m going? It’s a vicious, vicious cycle. If you don’t watch out, it’ll tear your arm off or do something equally as gruesome.)
So what do you all do to de-stress when life gets so crazy you can’t even remember the last time your discussion with your spouse didn’t sound something like, “OK, you get the dishes. I have the lunches. And break!”
*I’d like to get on the record saying I’m ecstatic that The Man loves his job. I’m not a horrible wife, I swear. Just tired.
22 comments
I always emphasize doing yoga….It may seem impossible to set time aside, even painstaking to do so, but afterwards you’ll feel so much better, and typically more relaxed. If you really can’t make the time, simply just deep breathe as you work. This will help relieve a little tension at the least.
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Food Fitness Freshair– You know, I’ve been thinking more and more about doing that. I’m still iffy because of my knees, but I’m thinking I might try and just stop if any pose hurts my knees.
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You are NOT a horrible wife. Honestly, I would just sit down and talk to him. There has to be a way to compromise on something to help you out. Having YOU time is so important and I hope you can find a way to sneak it in!
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 11:37 am
Kelly–Thanks for the encouragement. I should point out that The Man is also working insane hours. He may drop me off at 7 and pick me up at 6:30 but he’s working or sitting in traffic during those times, too. I think compromise really needs to come between The Man and I and DC traffic. If it would just go faster, we’d have more free time!
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Gosh this is such a hard situation because the solution doesn’t involve getting any more time. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re stressed. It sounds warranted and you deserve some “you time.” I think the only advice I can offer would be to be more of a weekend warrior with your workouts and cut down to only two days of gym going during the week. Do HIIT on the weekend days and then something like Tues and Thurs so you have more time. (Maybe easier said than done because I know that gym time feels great daily). Then, on Sundays, cook up big batches of food so that you have your meals done for the week ahead and all that you need is to reheat. It will only take 2 hours of Sunday to get 5 meals for two, I hope.
And then the thirty minutes before bed. I would lie down on your back, breath deep, and starting with your toes and working your way up to your head- do a relaxation meditation .Focus on the sensations in each body part- tense and release each one. All the while remaining present and mindful of your breath. It is surprisingly helpful
I am sorry to be so longwinded. I hope that at the very least, you just laughed and realized I should not be anyone’s advice columnist.
Have a lovely day, Tracey!
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 11:40 am
Andrea–Thanks for the great tips. I was thinking of cutting down to two days of dinner, but maybe two days of gym makes more sense.
Since I can’t cut down on workouts (darn knees hate when I miss days of physical therapy) I might modify you suggestion. There’s no reason I can’t do shorter workouts every other day.
And great idea about lying down and doing some deep breathing/relaxation. I think that’d help my mind to stop racing, too!
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You’re not a horrible wife. You’re just adjusting thats all.
I think talking about it is the best thing to do. My husband works crazy insane hours and travels a ton. So we have plan and try to stick with it. Even if it involves me shutting off my beloved laptop after 8pm to talk and hangout.
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 11:41 am
Estela–Oh, I’m OK with The Man working crazy insane hours. Now if only I had a second car so I didn’t have to work those hours too… Hmm. But turning off the laptop is a good idea, as hard as it may be to do!
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Just found your blog. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only woman on Earth who’s free time is being squeezed into a few moments per day between a full time profession (not just a “job”), home, family, fitness, etc. I recently changed my schedule to wake up, drink water, work out (even if it’s only for 20 minutes dancing around in front of VHI), then start the day. This 1) sets my day off on higher engergy 2) helps me jump out of bed to do something fun for 20 mins instead of dreading the workday, 3) I only have to shower once (time saver) whereas I used to shower in the AM and then again later after the work out.
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Samantha–So glad you found my blog! I do think working out in the AM would help. I’m just the worst waker-uper (yes, I just invented that word) in the world. I’m like Rip van Winkle. But you make a good point. One shower instead of two would mean my skin is less dry and itchy!
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Hi there,
). Take care!
just found your blog and finished reading your ‘knee story’. I am so sorry you had to go though so much pain. And here I am complaining about one still perfectly well functioning knee. Thanks so much for all of that information, it is much appreciated.
How to beat stress? Punching something (preferably a punching bag) really helps. And don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes not everything has to be done and your man will adjust (tried and tested!
V.
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Vee–Glad you found my blog! Kudos to you for reading that entire story. I should have a prize or something for people who read that. You could win something cool, like a knee brace or ice pack.
I love your idea of punching someting. Now, where is The Man….?
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tracey Neithercott. Tracey Neithercott said: So busy today! Which brings me to my latest post: Pass along your tips on dealing with stress. http://bit.ly/bnHffv [...]
Hi Tracey…so sorry you are feeling so stressed out. Traffic is seriously the most stressful thing in the world. Well, that and a hubby that packs about a dozen cables and like 5 undershirts…anyway, we are here to talk about your stress, not mine!
You are not a horrible wife at all! The fact that you are working with your husband’s schedule instead of bitching about it (which would be my approach) is evidence of that fact. I can relate to those vicious cycles where it feels like you do the same thing every day and I really don’t know what the solution is. Are you able to take another form of transporation so you can come back early? I’ve heard that DC has fantastic public transportation…or maybe not?
Anyway, sorry I can’t be of more help but I do feel your pain and hopefully that makes you feel better just a tiny bit.
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Ameena–DC does have a great metro system. Alas, I live right outside DC and there’s no bus/metro to my work from my apartment. I did, however, consider cab as a form of transportation. That was an expensive couple of days. I may have to consider hitchhiking when the weather gets warm.
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Tracey: You might like “Gastronomy of Marriage,” where Michelle Maisto talks about just that: trying to cook for two, get in a workout, sleep sufficiently, etc. It’s a “love and food” memoir. Endearing (after you realize she’s not the brat she first seems to be : ) So…I guess my answer is reading!
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Kristine–Thanks for the tip. Reading does make me less stressed, so I’ll have to add it to my Barnes & Noble list. Sounds like it’s right up my alley.
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de-stress. have your parents over for the weekend!!!!!
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You have to be at work for those long hours– but you don’t have to work extra. I think you should work your normal hours and then have you time. Bring a book, bring an iPod and listen to music, do some desk friendly exercises…anything that isn’t work. You have to be at work for 12 hours but you don’t have to actually work for 12 hours.
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Tracey Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Jill:
1. Good call.
2. Genius.
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Oh girl – I totally understand…it makes you wonder why your doing it and what this life is all about and if it’s worth it…talk to him…it’s so tough to figure out, because it’s something you have to do and may enjoy – but at what expense…
And GOD – please – if anyone knows the key to de-stressing for real I’ll take it , because so far everything else – the yoga, breathing, trying something different – NONE of it works…I’m a friggin’ basketcase.
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P.S – what is it that you do for a living??? and how do you love it?
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