life: super powers not included

Brought to You By The Biggest Loser

Biggest Loser Logo
photo from winningman

Tuesday is the highlight of my week not because I look forward in some twisted way to having a whole three days left of work but because of Lost. After seven painful days of wondering what’s going on, who’s going to die, who’s coming back to life, who’s possessed by a cloud of smoke, I can finally watch a new episode. (And get confused all over again. But that’s another story.)

Anyhow, before Lost is The Biggest Loser, and though I’ve never been a fan, I’ve watched the last few episodes. And they got me thinking: The show provides some pretty good tips on healthy living. So in honor of tonight’s episode, I bring you my Biggest Loser Tips For Being Healthy. (And yeah, NBC, I though of it first.)

If you’re totally, sickly unhealthy (and, let’s face it, if you’re reading this you probably are), don’t give up! There is hope for you yet. I used to not care about my health and do things like sit on the couch and watch The Biggest Loser, but then something in me clicked. “I can’t live my life like this,” I thought.

Of course, I didn’t just run outside. I needed to take baby steps. So I started by chewing one stick of Stride ™ gum each day. The minty fresh flavor kept me satisfied even when deep fried Twinkies were calling my name. If it weren’t for Stride ™, I’d probably be snacking on one right now. Thanks, Stride ™.

From all that gum chewing, I lost 10 pounds. (And I got TMJ, but let’s not talk about that right now.) At that point I felt more confident to start working out. I took it slow at first, using my Asics ™ running shoes to walk around the block. I love the great colors the brand offers, but what I love even more is the quality. I don’t know where I’d be without my Asics ™. Probably sitting on the couch.

The more I walked, the stronger I got. Pretty soon, I was able to walk to lunch instead of driving to McDonald’s. The best part is that there was a Subway ™ right across the street from my work, so I could get a fresh meal every day. The $5 footlongs were a perfect cure to my lunchtime hunger, and if I ordered the Veggie Delite I could pile on as many toppings without worrying about fat and calories. Oh, and Subway ™ is so delicious so it didn’t feel like I was eating light!

Another big thing that helped me become the health nut that I am today was getting enough water. I bought my Brita ™ so I didn’t have to worry about carrying a water bottle around. I just replace the filter every three months, then fill up the pitcher with tap water. So easy. When I’m thirsty, I just refill my water bottle or glass with the clean, pure taste of Brita ™ water. It’s a good thing for Brita ™ too, because without enough water I could get dehydrated.

One of the things I used to hate most about being overweight was getting so sweaty just walking around the block. If only I had known about Dove ™ soap. Now, after a six-hour workout at the Ranch gym, I come home and use Dove ™ to get clean and fresh-smelling without any of that soapy residue other brands leave behind. And after a long shower there’s nothing better than drying off with a plush towel made from Cotton ™. Truly the fabric of my life.

So next time you’re sitting on your couch watching The Biggest Loser, consider how you life might change when you become healthy.

Time to make dinner. Mmm … Lean Cuisine ™.

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21 comments

1 Joanna Sutter (Fitness & Spice) { 03.23.10 at 8:26 am }

I rarely watch the Biggest Loser because of all of the product endorsements (drives me nuts!). That, and all of the crying. I think Johnson’s & Johnson’s should be a sponsor so there will be NO MORE TEARS!!!!

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Tracey Reply:

Joanna–That was brilliant. No more tears … you crack me up.

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2 Joy Manning { 03.23.10 at 8:57 am }

Very funny, Tracey. You forgot about how fat free and delicious Jenny-O brand turkey is.

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Tracey Reply:

Joy–I don’t think I’ve been watching the show long enough to know about those things. But any turkey brand that reminds me of Jell-O can’t be good.

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3 Kelly @ Healthy Living With Kelly { 03.23.10 at 9:05 am }

You are a doll…I know I have said it liek 10,000 times but can you please write a book…I love your writing style! :)

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4 FoodFitnessFreshair { 03.23.10 at 9:06 am }

Mahaha, it took me a second to get the point of all this product placement. Clever. I do love the Asics though!

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5 Gelareh @ Nutritious Foodie { 03.23.10 at 9:07 am }

Would you believe me when I say I have never watched the biggest loser? So as I read your post I thought holy moly she is writting an advertisment post… only to realize that’s what biggest loser does… I guess now I really don’t have a reason to watch the show. :)

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Tracey Reply:

Gelareh–Yeah, I wondered if everyone would get it. I’ll explain here lest anyone think I’m in the pockets of Big Cotton. Or Subway.

If you’ve watched even one episode of The Biggest Loser you’ll notice they hock random products like it’s the point of the show. I even saw one episode where they concocted a subplot for the sole purpose of getting people to Subway. So, yeah, this was a bit satirical.

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6 Andrea @ CanYouStayForDinner.com { 03.23.10 at 10:10 am }

Hhahaha. I think Biggest Loser should also start slamming other corporations that create rival products. Like “Chewing Extra gum helps to curb that afternoon sweet tooth, unlike Trident who wants you to stay unhealthy.”
The show kills me with advertisements. And truly I might not mind seeing the ads if they were real ads, but the contestants and Bob/Jillian is the worst acting out there. At least pay some real people to get the job done!

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7 Ameena { 03.23.10 at 12:31 pm }

I love this post…you are so creative! For a minute I was like, wow, did Tracey suddenly get a whole bunch of blog sponsors or something?

I don’t watch The Biggest Loser for many reasons and I am now going to add shameless promotion to the list!

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Tracey Reply:

Ameena–Nope still a lowly no-sponsor blogger. But if I did get sponsors for this I’d slap myself silly for not shamelessly promoting Virgin Airways, The Ritz Carleton, and Apple.

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8 Nicole, RD { 03.23.10 at 12:53 pm }

Seeeeeeeeeriously. #1 reason I can barely stand that show. I want to throw a brick at them all when they start on their infomercials mid-show. Totally and utterly OBNOXIOUS. BL doesn’t need the endorsement money THAT badly, I’m sure of it. Greedy bastards!

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9 Shannon (The Daily Balance) { 03.23.10 at 2:33 pm }

hahahahahaha – SO TRUE!! the product placements are out-of-this-world-redic!

even crazier? that you KNOW there are some people who truly don’t even realize it!

too funny ;)

i DVR the episodes and end up fast-forwarding through about 3/4 of it!

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10 Kristine { 03.23.10 at 2:44 pm }

Maybe I need to tune in and remind myself that 8 lbs. of winter fat is not insurmountable. Although it’s never been this hard to lose! Help, I see 40 on the horizon and I can’t spend anymore time at the gym. Please don’t let me end up a contestant. Unless I get sponsored by Starbucks all-new fat-free mocha.

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Tracey Reply:

Kristine– Maybe if you ate Subway every day while drinking Starbucks’ fat-free mocha you’d be better off. ;) Nah, maybe a switch up (swap outdoors for the gym; it’s finally nice out, at least where I live!) is all you need. Besides, I don’t think you can make The Biggest Loser with only 8 pounds to lose.

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11 Diane Fit to the Finish { 03.23.10 at 2:56 pm }

You are really funny, but all you say has such truth to it. I haven’t been following Biggest Loser this season but the times I’ve watched it I’ve been so inspired by the people and how hard they work.

I just always wonder what percentage of them gain most of their weight back after a year or two?

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Tracey Reply:

Diane, I wonder the same things. But I haven’t been following it long enough to care about contestants from seasons past. It’s got to be hard to keep up that workout schedule in the real world. How can they not gain at least a little back?

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12 Stephanie { 03.23.10 at 6:08 pm }

Ha! Touche.
9 weight loss

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13 Sagan { 03.23.10 at 10:21 pm }

GIGGLING. Love it. You’re my hero.

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14 eatmovelove { 03.23.10 at 11:12 pm }

TOO FUNNY GIRL!! I love it.
And thank you for you kind message – I must write you back! And, no I don’t have that many comments – and your writing is far superb and stellar…love it :)

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15 Fit Chick in the City { 03.24.10 at 7:58 am }

Super funny! I can’t even watch the silly show because of all the product placement and crying. (I realize everyone else said the same thing, but it’s true)

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