Posts from — March 2010

photo by bfick

This post has nothing to do with health—unless, of course, you count my mental health in which case this post has a lot to do with health. Namely, my sanity.

Because I like to appear somewhat mysterious to you (What are you saying—that there’s no mystery to me at all? Fine, I agree.) I haven’t written about something big going on in my personal life. No, I didn’t get asked to play Reese Witherspoon in a film about her rise to fame. (But I could! I watched The Man in the Moon many times growing up.) And, no, Oprah didn’t just call me wondering if she could deposit some money into my bank account because hers hit its limit. Though that would be cool.

Nah, it has to do with The Man and his job. Or what was his job before he got laid off a few weeks ago. Like I said—nothing like my fantasies.

Anyhow, after a minor breakdown wondering how we could pay rent with my salary only (I’m a journalist, after all) we started really tightening our belts. We’ve spent the last few weeks using up the last of our groceries, perfecting the peanut butter and jelly sandwich (I’m gagging just thinking about eating another one of those anytime soon), and dumpster diving for breakfast. Just kidding about the last one.

But in all seriousness, this was a lesson in frugality. Sure, it might have led to me begging on a street corner with a sign that read “Two bum knees. Can’t work. Please help.” Or something like that. But at least we would have curbed our eating out problem.

Thankfully, things don’t have to get that far. The Man was offered a job today. Talk about a blessing.

And with that—and no health-related news or musings—I’m off to celebrate. And, no, it will not involve pb&j. At least not today.

photo by didbygrahams
I’ve got it! I’ll start the no-corners diet.
(And, um, pretend there’s an apostrophe in that It’s. Tsk. Tsk.)

Let’s talk about diets today. (No, I’m not going on one. That would be laughable if you saw what I ate for dessert last night.) Nah, I wanted to chat a bit about crazy diets because Wren brought up a good point on this post. She said she’s used to hearing a commercial while on hold with the VA Medical Center—I say she’s lucky it’s not Muzak because there’s nothing like Muzak to put you asleep before you get to make your appointment.

Anyhow, Wren said the commercial goes something like this: “Did you know that if you cut 100 calories a day out of your diet, you’ll lose 10 pounds in a year?” So, she wonders, “Is what the VA says true?”

Glad you asked.

For all of the diets out there—no carb, no sugar, no fun, and so on—we lose weight in a pretty simple way. (And, by the way, did you know there is an eat-for-your-blood-type diet? I’m not sure if this is just riding the Twilight wave, but it’s a little out there. If it takes off, though, I might create the eat-for-your-DNA diet. Darn, someone already thought of that scam diet.) Here’s the deal: 3,500 calories equals one pound. So in order to gain a pound, you’d have to eat 3,500 more calories than you burn. And to lose a pound, you’d have to burn 3,500 more calories than you eat.

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photo by karen eliot

So today is answer time. I appreciate everyone who asked me a question. I started to fear I’d have to come here today and admit that no one asked me anything. And even though you wouldn’t see it, I’d be blushing.

Before we get to it, I want to say Happy Birthday to my dad.

And now, you asked. I attempted an answer…

Ameena asks, “I would like to ask a question … how on earth do you manage to sleep until 9:30 and how can I do the same?”

Step One: Get rid of your child. I realize she’s really cute and will probably tug at your heartstrings with those big brown eyes, but if you plan on sleeping late, she’ll have to go.

Seriously, though, I’m a really good sleeper. If I could do that for a living, I could make a killing. With drapes and quiet I could sleep till noon. (And I might do that from time to time, but I try not to advertise it since most people put the “lazy” label on you.) Now, if you get up before 9 a.m., I have a question for you: How on earth do you do it??

Ameena also asks, “Also, who designed your awesome site and can I contact them to help me with mine?”

Lucky for you, my site is a free template from the genius Chris Pearson. I made a few modifications because tinkering around in Photoshop is fun, but other than that I can’t take credit for understanding anything about Web design. That would be dishonest, and today’s all about the truth with a capital T.

Jill asks, “How do you get up each morning, knowing the pain you’ll be in, and still have a positive attitude? You’ve been in pain for years. How on earth do you do it?”

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photo by leo reynolds

Well, that was a lazy morning. I slept till 9:30 a.m. and loved every second of it. The only thing that would have made this morning better is if the chimney next door stopped smoking long enough to let our apartment clear out the cigarette smell. (But that’s another rant for another time.)

Before I light every candle I own to counteract the stench, I wanted to remind you to Ask Away. (Yeah, I know, I mentioned this yesterday but since no one asked anything I figured I’d bring it up again. I’m not sure what that says about me. Maybe I’m already forthcoming with details. Or just boring.)

Either way, ask whatever you want in the questions. It can be personal, related to health or my unfortunate area of expertise (knee pain), or pointlessly random. I’ll post your question and its answer in Monday’s post. Or Tuesday—you know, whenever I get enough questions to answer in a full post.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

photo by twotoneati

Today we’re going to talk about long workouts. You might think this is because I sweated it out for hours and hours at the gym, but you’d be wrong.

(I did, however, have a heart-pounding, in-the-zone type workout on Wednesday. The good: I kept my speed high and the resistance way up. The better: I biked 8.5 miles. The best: No pain or redness.)

So, yeah, go me. But we’re not going to talk about that right now. (Though if you want, you can continue the discussion on your own. It’d be kind of weird, but I’m OK with that.)

The reason I want to talk about long workouts is because the Journal of the American Medical Association published a study this week that says normal-weight women who aren’t on a diet need to exercise an hour a day, seven days a week to maintain their weight. Compared to their peers who gained an average of 5.7 pounds over 13 years, those who exercised an hour a day gained less than 5 pounds

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photo from times online

So apparently this blog is supposed to have real health information. Like useful stuff. Were any of you going to tell me that? No matter. The silliness is behind me now. Let’s get down to important stuff, like how hotshot researchers waste spend their time.

(Imagine a disclaimer here that says I understand not all research is pointless and I realize plenty of good things have come out of scientific studies. For example, without research we wouldn’t know I’m going to die from a stroke someday.)

This is the first in a new series (or, you know, maybe just one post; we’ll see how this goes) called How I Spent My Research Grant, we take you to the lab of Brian Wansick, the genius behind Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think. Though, let’s be serious: If you’re Brian Wansick and as ubiquitous as Ryan Seacrest you probably have a palace, not just a workbench with a Bunsen burner somewhere in the deep recesses of Cornell’s Food Lab.

Anyhow, even if you don’t know Wansick by name, there’s an 88.764 percent chance you know his work. He’s the smartypants (I mean that) who figured out why we eat like we do—say, why we eat more when our bowls are bigger. So, I really do find his work interesting if not somewhat depressing. (What?! I eat more when the menu’s wording is all fancy? How pathetic of me.) Except for his latest study…

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photo by thumeco

We all aren’t created equal. (What? You really thought we were? Nah, my knees prove otherwise.) I’m generally OK being a gimp, but sometimes I wish there were a few skills I could add to my resumé.

Like resisting chocolate. If I possessed this skill, I could stare down a warm molten chocolate cake and not feel the sweet taste on my tongue without even opening my mouth.

Or maybe making lunch with my mind. That way I could 100 percent relax every night without knowing I’d have to make my lunch some time before I went to bed. Because that some time is usually 11 p.m. right about when I start getting exhausted.

And of course, karate-chopping skills. Just because it’d be so super cool.

What skills do you wish you could pick up?

photo from winningman

Tuesday is the highlight of my week not because I look forward in some twisted way to having a whole three days left of work but because of Lost. After seven painful days of wondering what’s going on, who’s going to die, who’s coming back to life, who’s possessed by a cloud of smoke, I can finally watch a new episode. (And get confused all over again. But that’s another story.)

Anyhow, before Lost is The Biggest Loser, and though I’ve never been a fan, I’ve watched the last few episodes. And they got me thinking: The show provides some pretty good tips on healthy living. So in honor of tonight’s episode, I bring you my Biggest Loser Tips For Being Healthy. (And yeah, NBC, I though of it first.)

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photo by prestigiacomo.patricia

I think I know a thing or two about training a man. (So, single ladies, listen up.) We’ve been married for an eternity almost four years, and though I’ll admit I still have more to learn (um, like how to get him to want to go to the gym on his own), there are some lessons experience has taught me.

Like this: Without a packed lunch and explicit instructions on avoiding the Golden Arches, The Man will order two double cheeseburgers, a large fries, and large Coke for lunch.

I give myself a break the first time I learn a rule. After that? My fault. The gazillionth time? Shame on me. That’s how I felt this weekend. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Let me use my stupidity to teach you. If my mistakes will help one of you live in harmony with the species that is The Man, then I’ve done my job on this earth.

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photo by sashaw

I know it sounds contradictory, but this week has somehow crept along and flown by at the same time. I’ve had so much to do that I can’t believe it’s already Friday—and all of my articles aren’t even 100 percent finished and edited and reworked and edited. (I’m kind of obsessive.)

Then again, I feel like I’ve been looking forward to the weekend since last Sunday at 12:01 a.m. (OK, really that would be Monday morning, but let’s pretend you know what I’m getting at here.) Funny thing is, I don’t even have anything planned this weekend. Though the more I look around my apartment, I’m thinking organizing the mess The Man made yesterday will feature prominently. Yeah, I’m exciting like that in a wannabe June Cleaver kind of way. (Minus the pumps. Those are killer on your knees.)

So I’d like to share a Really Awesome Revelation I had about four weeks ago. I’ve been holding out on you since this Really Awesome Revelation happened. My only hope is that you can forgive me for not immediately telling you about the best workout tip I’ve discovered in all three months of 2010. (In my defense, funny gym observations, kids on junk food, and lying to your face seemed much more important at the time. Really.)

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