Good Deeds Inspire More Good Deeds
photo by liminalmike
Remember the movie Pay it Forward? Little Haley Joel Osment played a 12-year-old boy with big dreams who launched a so-cute-you-can’t-help-smiling plan to make the world a better place. Osment’s character does good for three people under the condition they’ll pass a good deed on to another three strangers. And so on until everyone in the world has been helped out a bit—and has helped others. I won’t give away the ending in case you haven’t seen it, but let’s just say it requires a few Kleenex boxes.
The whole paying it forward idea was the topic of a recent Liberty Mutual commercial (thanks for the specifics, Google.) A man picks up a child’s toy from the road; the child’s mother stops a stranger’s coffee from spilling, and an onlooker sees her. That man helps a fallen stranger up off the ground. And so on. The basic idea is this: When you do something good, people notice—and take action.
Turns out that’s true. Researchers writing in an upcoming issue of the journal Psychological Science learned that good deeds inspire other good deeds. In their study, people who had watched a program featuring musicians and their mentors were more likely to help a stranger out than those who watched a clip from a nature documentary.
photo by samuraijohnny
It makes sense. Consider the ever-annoying door-holding situation. When someone lets a door slam in my face, I’m less likely to go out of my way to hold the door for someone else. I guess I feel peeved enough to pass on the emotion. (Not a good thing.) But if someone holds a door for me while I’m still a few feet away? I owe it to the person five feet behind me to play doorman for the day.
I can’t really think of other instances where I knowingly do a good deed because someone lent me a hand, partially because I don’t think we do the whole pay it forward thing intentionally—at least not most of the time.
Then there’s those times when no one is being kind to you—you just spot some do gooder going about their business. Sadly, these occurrences are few and far between.
All of this reminds me of a man who I spied doing good for no reason whatsoever—no hope of being paid back for his work. I regret never doing something for him.
photo by paul goyette
When I lived in Philadelphia, there was a park bench across the street from my apartment. For one week, a homeless man claimed that bench as his. All of his belongings fit in a shopping cart. Well, every morning while I was getting ready for work, I’d spy him sweeping the stretch of sidewalk in front of his bench. He’d take any trash that had blown his way and put it in the trashcan. He’d use the broom he kept in his cart to sweep away leaves. He took care of that street as much as I cared for my apartment.
And every day I’d pass him and want to give him money. Then I’d chicken out. I didn’t want to offend him. He wasn’t begging and he wasn’t looking for sympathy. The way he cared for his adopted sidewalk made me want to help—but I feared he’d think I saw him as silly. I didn’t.
To this day, I wish I had helped him out. Who knows how far forward that good deed would have gone.
Have you ever paid it forward? Has a stranger ever helped you out for no reason whatsoever? Or have you ever spied someone else doing good for a stranger?
By the way, The Man’s feeling a bit better now, though still in pain. We’re thinking it’s some sort of pulled muscle.
12 comments
I totally believe in the whole ‘pay it forward’ concept. My husband I and I always take our Thanksgiving leftovers to this street corner where this homeless man hangs out. I figure I don’t need the leftovers (since my belly is usually already stuffed full) and I want him to enjoy a meal made from love.
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Tracey Reply:
February 18th, 2010 at 10:06 am
Kelly, that’s a really great idea!
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I don’t mean to “toot my own horn” by saying this, but I often try to show acts of kindness to strangers, *especially* when it seems like their not in a good mood. Sometimes I still get a snarky response, but most of the time I see a look of surprise and even a smile at my gesture. I figure if holding the door or simply smiling at someone whose having a bad day can make their day a little bit better – I’m gonna do all I can do!
I think in today’s fast-paced world we’ve lost sight of the important of human interaction. And I’m hoping to change that, one smile, door hold, or letting-someone-get-in-front-of-me-in-line at a time
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I LOVE that commercial! It always makes me feel like doing good things when I see it
I try to go out of my way to help people… it is hard when people are rude though. When I was pregnant, people either went way out of their way to hold the door and help me down the steps… but there were also people who would see me struggling and would just let the door slam in my face…
I try to not let it bother me…
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I really try to help people. I believe in karma and I love the idea of paying it forward. That was such a great movie!
While I find it difficult to help people individually, I like to do what I can through established organizations. I would definitely like to do more volunteer work though. Easier said than done but I want to try!
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Tracey Reply:
February 18th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
You know, Ameena, I didn’t even mention volunteer work or donations–mainly because the study only looked at direct, person-to-person help. It’s worth mentioning that it’s a form of doing good. Thanks!
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I know that I can see this in my own life and in watching what other people do. There is this young teenage boy in our town who raised 28,000 for wells in Africa. All by himself.
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Tracey Reply:
February 18th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Wow, Diane, that’s a great accomplishment! So cool a teen did that.
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I believe paying it forward is like sowing seeds to receive back. Afterall, you reap what you sow, right?
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I love reading stuff like this! I totally believe in paying it forward. There have been so many times in my life that I have been helped immeasurably by good Samaritans of various sorts. I feel in chronic debt to the universe so every time I get the chance to help someone out I try and take it! The other day a handicapped person got lost at our Y and wandered into a group fit class – everyone was acting all put out that she was in their way – so I took her outside and got her a cookie and waited with her (rubbing her back because she was upset about getting lost) until we could find her aide. It was such a small thing but I felt so happy and grateful afterwards.
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this was a grea tpost! i love the concept of paying it forward, and i try to incorporate it into my life as much as possible (some days are easier than others lol.) i also love reading about the psychology behind things like this (i’m such a stereotypical psych major!) hey if the last time you were out in SF was for work you’re def due for another visit!
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Yes, I too believe in the paying it forward concept. I see little examples of the opposite thing here in NYC. People slamming doors in ppl’s faces, stepping on other’s heels without an apology, being rude to a sales person, skipping line…. NYC needs a little more every day kind of paying it forward.
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