Find A Husband, Get Fat
photo by castorp republic
Beefy Wonder Woman must have a lot of husbands…
Back in the day when I was living solo, dinner was easy. Open fridge. Spy healthy foods. Chop, bake, or grill foods into a satisfying yet light-on-the-waistline dinner.
But once I got married, things changed. Suddenly I didn’t control the menu. There was always some dude begging for cheese dogs, cheeseburgers, alfredo sauce, beef, beef, and more beef. I’d try to reason with him that salads are a balanced and healthy dinner.
It’s not a meal unless it has meat.
I’d try to explain why eating a side of bread with pasta or potatoes was pointless. Bread is a carb, potatoes are carbs, and pasta is a carb, I’d say.
I need a side of bread with everything I eat.
I’d beg and plead with him to skip the appetizer for once. The restaurant-size portions were big enough, I’d say.
We’re at a restaurant, it’s a treat.
Aside from the fact that The Man is my husband and I’d like for him to live to at least 50—an age he might not hit while on an all-fast-food, all the time diet—there’s another reason I wish he’d resolve to eat healthier. It’s because when he eats like a trucker, I’m more likely to.
I’m not surprised to learn that a new study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine reports that women with mates gain more weight than all the single ladies. If you’re married, you can probably relate. The researchers studied more than 6,000 Australian women for 10 years and learned that hitched women without children gained 15 pounds during the decade. Women who were married with children gained 20 pounds over the same period of time. And those flying solo? Only 11 pounds.
The researchers didn’t give any tips for bucking the trend, but I can think of one: Get your guy on board with your healthy-eating crusade. I’ve been trying to brainwash persuade The Man to eat healthier since date number 12. Not really, but it’s been a long time. And guess what folks … his 2010 goal is to be smarter about his food choices. Yippee.
I’ll let you know how that goes, but in the mean time, consider how your boyfriend/fiancé/husband/manfriend influence your eating. Be mindful of it, then don’t succumb to the mated woman’s curse. (I’m not sure how I feel about the use of the word mate. On the one hand, it kind of reminds me of the Kiwi speak I so loved when I lived in New Zealand. On the other, it makes me feel like a lower primate.)
Do you think the research is spot-on? How does your mate influence your eating—or vice versa?
11 comments
I just read about a study in the NY times yesterday that showed this same thing…It does not surprise me. They also say if you have heavier friends, you’re more likely to put on the pounds. I’m hoping to find a mate who is also passionate about health and nutrition…although this seems to be more difficult when it comes to males!
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I definitely have gained weight since I got married, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I became a food writer around that same time. I think something that this study and others like show that goes unstated is that unmated woman are under even greater pressure to be thing than woman in general. The strong message is you must be thin to nab a man.
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Tracey Reply:
January 6th, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Joy, I didn’t think about the study that way, but it’s an interesting point: Perhaps the single women focused more on weight loss and dieting because they were trying to get a man.
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I gained weight when I got married and lost 200 lbs when I got divorced. (175 lbs was my ex-husband…just to be clear!)
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Tracey Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 9:01 am
Ha! Joanna, that was too funny!
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Oh this is SO true in our household! And it’s only gotten 10 times worse since the kids have joined us. They think we need a side of CANDY with every meal… sigh.
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Tracey Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Charlotte, I’d want candy with every meal if I had the metabolism of a child.
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Joanna, great comment.
My husband is generally fairly health conscious but I definitely wish for the times when I could just come home from work and eat just a snack for dinner. I have a few ‘healthier’ recipes which coincidentally are meat-free, so I usually serve him a ham steak with those – keeps us both happy.
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Tracey Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Ah, Struggler, I agree with your need for a light snack for dinner. The Man is totally opposed to eating cereal for dinner now and again. Sometimes, though, it’s all ya need.
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I was a lot thinner as a single — and I know why. I didn’t cook much. I was happy with a sandwich or a bowl of tinned soup for supper. Once I got married, and started cooking for my husband and later, my daughter, I started gaining weight. AND my guy is a big fella — 6′2″ — and he had the metabolism of a teenager for many, many years. He could eat enormous helpings and never gain an ounce. I got where my own helpings got bigger, too, I guess so I could keep up with him. Heh. I’m 5′4″. You can just imagine where those larger helpings ended up…
Today, while we’re still married, the tables have turned. I’ve been slimming, he’s gained a lot. And he just won’t listen to me regarding his diet. He’s always eaten a ton of food — he can’t get his mind around the fact that he just can’t do that at 53 and stay trim.
Life is a continuous challenge, you know?
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Tracey Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Wren, I find myself keeping up with my husband, too. My portions have definitely gotten bigger since I started eating with him. I always tell myself it’s OK to eat less than him, but I guess it’s that competitor in me. Oh, and my husband also has a hard time with the whole healthy eating thing. I’m working on him, though…
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